Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dear Zac Efron

This may come as a shock to you, but while I actually was a fan of High School Musical (and only the first movie), I never really found you hot.  Your features and eyes seemed strange to me.  I thought you looked more like a "better built Michael Jackson" than Michael Jackson.   Your smile was awkward in the wrong way and while you did have a nice singing voice (which I learned later was dubbed with another person's voice) I just didn't get why so many other people were dying to sleep with you.

And yes, I will admit, for someone of your age and looks, you have a fantastically fit body.    I know of so many people who would die to touch your arms, caress your chest, and maybe even fondle your armpit hair if given the chance.

Strangely, I was not one of them.

To keep it simple, I just didn't think you were all that.
Well, not until I saw these pictures:

Let me say this, Zac.
And this is to be immortalized on my very blog.
You are HOTNESS.
Or at least you have become in my eyes.    

From some squeaky strange mannequin-like boy you have transformed yourself in these pictures into a well-defined shapely man who carries himself in a no-nonsense attitude.  You wear clothes that actually suit you and have framed your once elven features with just enough fuzz to actually look like a man.

Finally, in my eyes, I see you and I can believe you have a penis.

Okay, that was a lie.

I always knew you had one.
But at least now I am certain it is a manly one.
(I was tempted to get into more detailed adjectives but then realized too many readers might end up making a mess on their laptops, iphones and public libraries.  So I will just leave it at that.)

But yes, Zac Efron, you have done very well in this pictorial.
Thanks to these pictures, I am now able to say,
"Yes, Zac Efron is hot!"

A pity this won't be a look you'll be sporting forever.

I just hate how Hollywood prefers its men clean and hairless like a prepubescent boy's testicle.  Seriously.  Men have hair for a reason.  Hair is hawt!  


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