Dealing With It Alone.

The noises were the cue things were about to get messy.

I slid my hand down hoping to calm it, but it had a mind of its own.

The spray exploded out of my control, a sudden gush that drenched me

all over my arms, my sweat-soaked chest...

...I remain thankful I was fully naked.

But even as control finally came and the torrent calmed down to drips

I exhaled deeply and tried to recover from the earlier tension.

The worst had already passed, after all.

I knew my partner would probably give me a knowing smirk.

Having chosen to do this alone was probably not too smart

but he understood that I had my needs.

I was never the kind of man to ignore things that needed my attention.

And this growing problem had to be tackled one time or another.

While I knew my partner would have probably preferred I waited for him

I just thought I could tackle this cleanly on my own.

I guess I was wrong.

So here I am now, messily wet all over,

but at least the problem has been dealt with.

The faucet is finally fixed.

-----

by tobie

To draw or not to draw... them naked?

Part of me has been wanting to make an adult comic for some time.  Nothing too pornographic, although the objective is to get the sexy going.  In many ways it feels like both a celebration of man beauty and a rebellion of the fact there are just way so much hentai devoted to naked women, or girly lithe men.

Tee hee.

Admittedly I know I have a long way to go before I can even consider my art as hot or sensual.  I don't have the skills yet that other artists have achieved in drawing the male form (in all its wonderful poses).  But like all skills, art does get better the more one does it and I hope by having a comic like this, it would encourage me to push myself to draw things that do more than just tell a interesting story.  I wonder though if the Philippines is ready for a clearly "bara inspired" gay comic?

But I guess if others can make Hercules into someone even hotter than before, I can do my best to make that one classic line in my comic Diliman even more memorable.

Ride me, Horsie indeed.

[nsfw] Geekwood: Blame it on Bara

I like Bara.

I wish there were more resources to find such.  But strangely, in an animation industry with everything from pretty boys to tentacle rapists, it seems there is no existing real industry for manly men who love men in Japanese hentai.  There are comics, yet.  And these manga are rare and hard to find.  But I have yet to find any real animation.

Recently, I chanced upon this piece of artwork by someone named Nickie.  I admit it is fantastic.  The realness of it all.  The natural hotness that the piece extrudes.  It made me want to find more of his work.

Unfortunately, the best I could find was a forum that spoke about how Nickie took down all his work.  But thankfully the forum's inhabitants were kind enough to repost all they could.  So for those who enjoyed this piece of beautiful man art, feel free to head here.

Had I only had the artistic skills, I'd make bara animation for the world to enjoy.

Sighs.

We Need More People Like Her

My hat goes off to you, Ma'am.
We need more people like you in the world.

Here's hoping for more people to open their eyes and hearts to the truth.
Enough with living in fear and hate and discrimination.
I challenge you all to be part of building a better tomorrow.

Morning Would...

...last a bit longer,

one would hope.

It was your warm hand that stirred me.

Your fingers slid across the valley of my back

and rested at the space between my buttocks.

I raised my head from my pillow

still half-submerged in a barely-remembered dream

and you leaned close to kiss me.

Your mouth unlocks my eyes.

I see your naked body slide against mine

and the sheets of the bed shy away.

We share the bed

and keep the cold away 

by ourselves.

A few more minutes

before work demands I go.

----

by tobie

Love. Just Celebrate It.

Can't be Valentine's day without the naysayers.

The Valentine's Day weekend has begun! 

With Mubarak finally stepping down from his throne (about time), Lady Gaga finally releasing her latest song (too Express Yourself for me.  I rather stick to Kylie and Katy), and everyone all around the world celebrating their relationships (or their singlehood) the world seems to be a little bit brighter today.  Amidst the rising gas prices, strange weather shifts and the continued breeding of horrible people, it is nice to know that good things do still happen.   Great things too, although one has to learn to have an eye for them nowadays.  With so much media pushing the misconception that things worth celebrating always need hype and pomp, there seem to be less and less people out there who know how to appreciate the simple good things in life.  Like, why should love only be celebrated on Valentine's day?  Why not make every day a chance to extol the fact you are able to do everything you can, whether it be spend hours surfing the net and chatting with your friends, or minutes watching your favorite shows, or days having the leisure freedom of choosing what to eat, or months of knowing you have a roof over your head.  A common adage others bring up is to think about how many people out there are not as lucky.  I personally feel that's a negative reason to celebrate.  Instead, I'd simply embrace the joys, small or simple or grand, as they are.  There's no need to compare them.  There's no need to rank them.

But if you don't celebrate them, who else will?

Everything that could have happened, happens to lead to this moment.

Do you really want someone out there to tell you to be happy you have a job?  A couch?  Or the freedom to download all your favorite porn for free?  Do you really need to splurge your partner's money on expensive things just to feel special?  Do you really need to wait for someone you love to pass away before you tell them how important they are to you?  The addiction for grander, bigger things is very dangerous.  It blinds one to seeing why everything has its worth.  It confuses one to ignore how special everything is.  In a world where there may be an infinite number of factors that can change what can happen at a given moment, can you not see how special it is that something actually is going well for you?  At the smallest scale, it may have been a matter of choice.  But that choice can be affected by so many other factors; the weather affecting your mood, the people around you influencing your views, the political climate preventing you from thinking about that choice, hell, even the planetary physics of the Earth not chancing upon a massive extinction level event causing body out there as it speeds out there at almost 30 kilometers per second.  All these things, these variables, these yes and nos, all these rippled down to the perfect sequence that lead you to the moment you were to make a choice.  Can you not see how spectacularly miraculous every single decision you make actually is?  How wonderfully-impossible-yet-actually-coming-to-pass every event in your life actually is?

But if everything is celebrated, what becomes special?

Think bigger.  If life itself is special, why stop celebrating it?

yeah, they really should come out already.

Valentine's day is a nice reminder that love, too, needs to be celebrated.  Yes, strangely enough people do forget to hold love as special.  Whether it be the lure of selfish lust, or the boredom born from lack of true communication, love sadly does die sometimes.  So Valentine's day is a good way to nudge us back on track and remember that it isn't so bad to actually do actions that show you care about someone.   And all those naysayers who think Valentine's day is just a marketing hype thing, well, they are right.  Valentine's day is more marketing now than not.  But why waste your energy shooting down the idea of celebrating love?

What day ISN'T a day where marketing tries to hype it up?

Why not simply celebrate it without falling prey to buying the most expensive bouquet of overly priced flowers?  Why not share the happiness of love without expecting imported chocolates?  Why shoot down the celebration just because you do not want to foot the bill?

My partner and I are having a Valentine's Day weekend.  While we celebrate every single day with the joy of being gay geeks who are passionately in love, we are making this a weekend where we can be shamelessly campily sweet.  Yes, we might be already that most of the day, and in some ways that is the irony of it all - that for us the Valentine's Day weekend does not seem to be that different - what will make it different is something that I will have to leave off the record for now.

:-)

Happy Valentine's day everyone.
To love.

Awww pig.

To real love.

Geekwood: Sun Jian

This is a guilty pleasure, I will have to admit.

Dynasty Warriors has been a button-mashing game that plain and simply hits me in the right way.  As much as I love role-playing games and deep stories, there is a part of me that truly enjoys the idea of charging headlong into battle and tearing down hundreds if not thousands of enemies like there was no tomorrow.    Those familiar with the game know that every installment of Dynasty Warriors gives you access to a large variety of characters to choose from.   Loosely based on the tale of the Three Kingdoms, Dynasty Warriors has ramped itself up to have slightly more modern touches without totally losing the feel of battling for the unification of ancient China.

And from this game comes today's Geekwood selection:  Sun Jian.

Look at your man, now back at me... 

Known as the "Tiger of Jiang Dong" Sun Jian was a loyal member of the Wu who first appears in Dynasty Warriors 2.  The first Dynasty Warriors game was sort of like a fighting game more than the way the games are played now.  His life began as a young man who outsmarted pirates at age seventeen.  As time passed, Sun Jian would eventually raise over a thousand men to aid Zhu Jun during the Yellow Turban revolution.  When he finally succeeds in bringing down a revolt in Jiang Xia, he is granted governorship of Chang Sha.

I love the outfit!

A pity his tale does not end there.   From his finding of the Imperial Seal in a well and trying to keep it for himself, to his rivalry with Yuan Shao he finds himself becoming bitter enemies with Liu Biao.  Liu Bao's general Lu Gong successfully entices Sun Jian into an ambush and is slain by arrows and thrown rocks.    He only finds peace when Sun Ce finally trades a prisoner in return for his father's body.  He now lies buried in the plains of Qu'e.



Thankfully, since the Sun Jian we promote to Geekwood is based more on the Dynasty Warriors game than any other incarnation, we can ignore the part of him dying (since a computer character never actually lived) and still celebrate his hotness.   With a build that just screams strong and tough, and a goatee that reminds you who is in charge, Sun Jian is one warrior you better be ready to face head on.   As Sun Jian himself said, "The wife of a tiger must be a tiger herself."  So yes, it sounds like Sun Jian only favors versatile partners in his life!

His alternate form reminds me of Sebastian Shaw for some reason.

Interesting, while his sense of fashion is quite basic, he has a flair for working the grey-white hair cut.  Throwing Dragonball Z to shame, Sun Jian boasts a plumage that just reminds you how he is a walking tower of testosterone.  Even his son, Sun Ce, is already sporting a soul patch to mimic his father's goatee.  Makes you wonder if he'll eventually try to capture the fabulousness of his hair too.



I personally relish the fact that Sun Jian celebrates the joy of husky meaty men.  Far too many heroes in Dynasty Warriors are portrayed as lithe yaoi boys with weapons far too large for their own hands.  Sun Jian is a proper man with a back meant for carrying, a chest meant for burying into, and a weapon that's just the right size.  He looks funny though in his "awakened" form in Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce.  Almost like a lovechild of Blanka and Wolverine.

And yes, tiger cape is always in fashion!

It is therefore a pity that he does not appear in John Woo's Red Cliff movies and it doesn't look like he will be having any spotlight anytime soon.  Til something better comes along, I guess we have no choice but to be happy with the games, or your stint in the Three Kingdoms TV series done years back. It is cute, though, that Japanese fans call you "Papa." Somehow, if I ever met you, I know I would have too.  I frankly am surprised no one has made porn yet inspired by this called "TheNasty Warriors"



With the upcoming Dynasty Warriors 7 for the PS3, here's hoping Sun Jian gets a much needed fashion do-over, and perhaps a pants only alternate costume as well!  I'm already loving the much  more atmospheric music (compared to the loud rock stuff of the previous DW games).

I'm Sorry You Are Stuck With... Him.

Love, they say, means never having to say you are sorry.


Personally, I think that is one of the most idiotic and selfish ways to view love.  That ranks pretty high up there, almost equal to the idea that in love, the other person has to accept you as who you are with not a single change required at all.

And that's why you're lonely.
Or why others pity your partner.

What a huge steaming pot of cow offal these adages are!

First of all, even if you are in a loving, honest and responsible relationship, if you in any way mess up or do something wrong, then by the powers that be you better fess up and apologize to your partner.  It does not matter if your partner is socially-inept, image-conscious, uneducated, weathly-rich-spoiled, uglier than your penis warts or more beautiful than the love child of Papa P and whoever becomes his Mama, if you do something that insults him, abuses his trust, makes him look stupid, wastes his time, or worse, plays with his heart, then apologize for your lack of actual intelligence in doing it.  The act of realizing and accepting one's guilt and role in a mistake is crucial in a proper relationship to work.  So you woke up late to show up at a date?  Apologize!  Fess up as to why you did not sleep earlier and be man enough to say you are sorry.    Or maybe you somehow started a small white lie, like claimed to call your partner open-minded enough to let you fuck around, and now the lie has reached his ears and the world can see he never really saw things that way... would you really have the gall to believe you had every right to do what you wanted because in a relationship, the man you claim to love and have labelled an idiot to all your conquests should accept you as who you are?

Or rather, as WHAT you are?

Because if you are going to act like a self-centered manipulative bastard, your partner has every right to punch your lights out and call you exactly what you are.

If you are guilty, you better admit you are.
Only then does a "Sorry" really have worth.

Many counter that love requires compromise.  This is true.  But the sad thing about this truth is many stretch it too far into realms beyond actual compromise.  For example, compromise is cutting down on going out since your partner wants to stay home on some nights.   Compromise is smoking outside the house since your partner is asthmatic.  Compromise is not owning a pet since your partner is actually phobic to the said animal.

Those are proper compromises.  Those are compromises that happen in a relationship where communication actually happens.

"I thought you were just living with your ex... oh."

Compromise is not sleeping with anyone you want to since the other has never complained about it.    Compromise is not letting your partner sleep around because you are afraid to complain and mess things up and end up living life alone.  Compromise is not giving up on your hobby or dreams because your money is needed to pay your partner's extracurricular needs.  Especially when those needs are fickle expenses that he should, had he had any real-male balls between his thighs and actual contents where his brain should be, be responsible enough to curb if he can't afford on his own.

Admittedly, many people have dreams of living a carefree life.   Marry rich and die happy, they say.  Find a wealthy foreigner to foot your bills for the rest of your life.  Better yet, make sure you find someone who is afraid to be left alone.  In the straight side of things, this was very prevalent towards women.  Find a handsome rich man.  It doesn't matter if you don't really like him, you will be happy with him.  He has money. Get pregnant before he escapes.  Horrible.  Simply horrible.  Did these parents ever realize they were telling their own daughters to give up being people and just sell their vaginas to the closest man with a hefty wallet?

Makes me wanna Expose, Educate, Inspire people who think they're already perfect.
Perfectly messed up and selfish, if you ask me.

And strangely, many gay guys have embraced the very same idea.    They want to live Eat-Pray-Whatever the Fuck that book is called lives where they splurge money needlessly on quests to find themselves when their real problems were issues with them not being honest to themselves.    And before you even try to peg it on me, I have nothing against rich people or foreigners.   I do have huge issues with gold diggers.  Especially those who believe they DESERVE the other person's hard earned money.

Does he know you measure him based on his monetary worth?

A relationship requires a real sense of balance.  
And understandably, how that is defined differs from couple to couple.  I know of long term couples that have opened their doors to having sex with others.  The beauty of this?  Full disclosure.  No lies about being single to net the next cutie.  No slanderous excuses given to explain away the "room mate."  Real open relations where one tells dated guy he is actually in a relationship but the partner is open to the idea.  And the partner himself does the same thing.  Equity.  Balance.

Some how, that seems so hard to accept for most people.
So they do what is easier.  They lie.  They invent.  They tell their loved ones how special they are, then ask for money to go out and find someone new to fuck.  And that someone later on will have to discover to his horror  his hook up happens to be taken.  And the loved one learns as far as the hook up was concerned, he didn't exist... well until shit hit the fan.  So many lies.  Layer and layer that when sprung, can destroy trust that took years to earn.   That can destroy all the joyful memories that were built through the months.  Or years.

Why are you so afraid to be yourself?

It makes me wonder why bother lying?
Why not be honest to your partner?  Why not admit your needs?  Or insecurities?  Or fears?  Why not work though everything AS a couple?  After all, that is what you want to be right?  A couple?

Love is means you say sorry.  But most of the time, you won't really have to.
Well, you won't if you are doing your part.

Love fuels a relationship, after all.
And if you're not really doing your share to keeping a relationship running...

The best liars are the ones who believe their own lies.

.. you are not in Love.
So just admit it.
Don't add another layer to the lies you might already struggle to hide.

Again, Kylie speaks volumes of this.

Be honest from the start.
Full disclosure.  Better, after all, as Kylie said the devil you know.
And you will see how easy it becomes to be sensitive and true to one another.

But even French Fries deserve to be happy.
The birds though, they should learn to be content.

Saying sorry becomes a rare event.
Because there are fewer times you will ever need to say it.