Pride is Always Important

I feel bad that I failed to post anything for National Coming Out Day.  Life has been pretty hectic in many fronts and I will admit, blogging was one of the first few things that had to be put on hold.

But man I have to say this:

I am very pissed off and disappointed at how some have transformed the Annual Pride Event into a personal statement aimed at another organization.    While the rest of the world is talking about the importance of being heard, of making our presence welcome, and of showing unity, here in the Philippines the very group that once clamored on the importance of participating in the Annual Pride March has taken the most inane direction in this year's Pride Events.

I'll let you see the post here:
http://www.taskforcepride.com/

Now, had it been a statement saying "Marching is NOT the ONLY WAY to celebrate Pride" then I would applaud it for reminding the Pink Community of the many other ways one can show support and commemorate the sacrifices and challenges that were faced back in the Stonewall Riots.  But no, the group is instead claiming that marching is not necessary.

After years of saying it was.  All those times before, the push was, "How do we encourage people to march?"  "How do we remind people if they don't feel they are represented in the Pride March, then they should go to BE represented."  Suddenly now it is all you don't have to march?  Bullshit.

Why?  Because SOMEONE ELSE IS HANDLING THIS YEAR'S PRIDE MARCH EVENT.
And rather than be supportive of it, or perhaps still have a second march people can also participate in, the group has decided to make a public statement claiming marching is not necessary.

Quite a huge CHANGE from what was being proclaimed back in July.

It is the same stupid slandering that was being bandied about during the White Party nights.  Many groups opted to host their own White Parties.  Think about that for a second:  MANY GROUPS WANT TO HOST THEIR OWN WHITE PARTIES.  That is a HUGE step in the right direction.  People are all celebrating in their own ways.  People are all making events to celebrate what used to be a  single event!  So now, every LGBT person in Metro Manila has the option to choose where it is more convenient.  Has the freedom to go where their friends opt to go.  Has the joy of being able to celebrate the night by visiting all the events they want!   Can you imagine?  Having such freedom of choice?  There was a time when having a party that celebrated gay freedoms had to be underground.  This was a good step.

And yet, the slander began.  "Not the REAL White Party"  and so on was thrown about.  As if a specific organization in the Philippines was the root of it all.  As if a specific location in the Philippines was the real reason the party was born.  As if Stonewall did not matter.

Selfish.  Idiotic.  Divisive.

Task Force Pride has become a force of personal pride, rather than a beacon of unity and colorful hope.
I am now embarrassed to know the people behind this direction.  (And yes, I want my book back.  You've borrowed it long enough.)

Very embarrassed.

My partner and I will still march at the upcoming Pride March in Quezon City this year.  We will still show our support to the Pink community.  We will still remind people that many of the freedoms and levels of acceptance that are now enjoyed were thanks to the people back in the past who took the courage and effort to MARCH and to SPEAK UP.

https://www.facebook.com/pridecouncil

True Pride was never about "who gets the credit" for an event.
And that's but one of the many things a certain group has to learn about truly being a voice for a community.

More Pictures from 2011's Pride March

Special thanks to my partner for life, Rocky, for these pictures.
Love the green pins we got for that day (even with the awkward English)
"I want a Marriage Too!"

Check out the whole album !

We joined this year's Pride March in the Philippines!

rOckY and I, with a LOT of our good friends, took part in this year's Pride March.  This was my second time to be part of the march since last year, I was with my parents and family on a trip to Singapore.  My best friend Tom and his partner Fritz was there, as was my dear diva Grace and her partner Pao, as was Geoff and Allan.  (Thank you Allan for these wonderful pictures!)  rOckY has yet to release our own set of pictures but once those are up, know I'll be sharing the link to them too.

There were many other friends who joined us that day who aren't in these pictures.  Nono, Lanchie, Juna, Markee, Ian, Bern, Pao and so many other friends also made their presence known and their voices heard as we marched down the road with pink balloons, rainbows and love.  Of course, there were protesters against the march there too which was expected.   A little bird told us before that those people are "funded" to protest by certain groups.  Sad really, that people really think hate is the way to live one's life.   There also were companies that showed their support (but part of me does wonder how much is support and how much is selling the idea that you can work for them.  Oh well, businesses will always have the bottom line after all.)   You can find more pictures of the beautiful event here as well.

Check out this video that rOckY took of the march.  Clearly, we were having a LOT of fun.

As I mentioned in my facebook, the Pride March doesn't require attendees to be gay.  All you have to be is someone who wants to voice out that LGBT deserve equal rights.  

Among my many posts include:

Will I see you today, marching alongside me? Will I see you today, being brave enough to make a statement that being who I am is okay?  Or will I have to wait for the day I become a victim of some hate crime before you realize I need your support to have my rights recognized?
Will you March with me this year?

And

Yes, embracing DIVERSITY does mean embracing even the presence of things you don't necessarily like. But that's the beauty of Diversity! There's always something for everyone.

And

Join this year's Pride March. Help show more people that there is nothing to be ashamed about being gay, knowing someone who is gay, being friends with someone who is gay, or simply believing that we all deserve to have the equal right to love who we love.
Help us make a statement. Help us be heard. Hindi lang ang mahirap ang nangangailan ng supporta ninyo. (Not only the poor need your support.)

I do hope next year we get to see even more friends take part in this important event.  I pray that more friends find the courage to join us as we represent the people in the Philippines who believe in equal rights, who believe in the freedom to be happy, and who believe that love is real.

Happy Pride!
See you next year!

I thought you guys were braver than this

The Philippines recently had its annual Gay Pride March and much to my dismay, I was not able to take part in it this year.  My partner and I had been looking forward to taking part in it for months after experiencing the excitement and pride of being part of something meaningful last year.  Unfortunately, my parents decided that the same weekend was to be a good weekend to fly to Singapore to celebrate my sister's birthday.  So like a good recently outed gay son, I decided to do my share in being part of the family and joined them for the trip.

Last year with my other friends.

Being able to take part in an event that allows you to celebrate being yourself is something I honestly wish more people get a chance to experience.  While coming out is a personal journey in every gay person's life, stepping outside to join the Pride March is a call for courage and the willingness to make a statement.  A statement that says, "We are who we are and we are not ashamed."  And as ironic as it sounds, taking part of the march while wearing a mask since one might still be in the closet is quite welcome.   Just as much as any straight friend joining the march to support their gay friends.   The march, after all, isn't about just being gay.  It is about celebrating the fact as diverse as we all are, we are happy to be who we are.

I remember how excited I was last year to join the Pride March.  I wasn't out to my family.  While most of my co-workers and friends knew I wasn't walking the "straight" path, few neighbors or family friends were aware of my preferences.   But I admired the courage of those who had been part of the march year after year and realized in many ways it was more than just a chance to show off one's gayest costume (like some do).  In fact, those who showed off their gayest costumes were simply doing something I was, back then, afraid to do:  Just be myself and have fun.

My partner and me in our matching black Trek shirts

My partner and I decided to join the march wearing our black Star Trek shirts to celebrate our unity as a couple and as geeks.    And even if I was still in the closet family-wise, I threw away all fears of being discovered and walked with my face clearly visible for all to see.

And experienced very quickly all the hate and bigotry that certain members of society had for me.

They were at the corners, with their banners and placards condemning us for being who we were.  Calling us vile things.  Speaking into their loudspeakers cruel and wicked words.    They used the Lord's name in vain.  They used the Bible as a personal weapon.   And they said WE were the one's who had lost our way.

So much hate from people claiming to love God.

It was the first time they have ever seen me, and they hated me down to the very core of my being.

Some of our friends retaliated.

They made their own posters.  They chanted their own slogans.  They yelled back.  Or sang.  Or threw jokes back.  Insults too.   But all they did was encourage the hate even more.  Fan the flames stronger.  Fed the evil that called itself good.

I felt it was a sad reminder of how people still believed we were best invisible.
Or non-existent.

And even worse was when I heard from people I consider my friends the similar themes of hate.

One facebook friend wrote about the Pride March not representing him since it merely showcased freaks.  Another proudly shared how he was invited to the March but felt it was all just politics.   Was that really how bad it get's here in the Philippines?  That the discrimination ran so deep, rather than take part to BE represented, we would rather insult and demean those who clearly showed a courage superior to our own?   That we would dismiss the march as merely something political, when in fact, it WAS political for the right reasons.  It was political because we deserve to be acknowledged.  We deserve to be recognized.  We deserve to be accepted.  We aren't even seen as mere equals.  It wasn't a call for special treatment.  It was a call to be identified as real.  Damn right it was political!

Yes, it felt so much like this.

How sad, therefore, that its urgency is so easily dismissed and thrown aside.

There I was, stick in Singapore, wishing I could be part of it, and here were friends of mine so content with their own personal concerns that the idea of being part of something bigger felt... unimportant.

It was insulting.  It was depressing.
It nearly drove me to disassociate myself with them.
Who needs friends who don't see the point in seeing you to the very least as equals.
More so when they themselves were gay.

Of course, when it comes to the "other" annual big gay event, the so-called White Party attendance shoots up and celebrations are explosively present.  When it comes to bathhouses and models strutting around in badly designed underwear, you have throes of gay men screaming their tonsils out.   Clearly sex sells.

2010 March Route.  How I wish I was here!

And yet, we are all aware of how much we DO need a political voice.  We read of updates where gay people are arrested in raids as prostitutes merely for having a condom in their possession.  Or of how one's sexuality is too quickly used to judge one's capacity to work, or be a functional member of a family.    The Catholic Bishops' Conference in the Philippines (or as it is more known as, the CBCP) proclaims condoms as a cause of cancer, and refers to 'active homosexuals" as having "victims" as if we were all sexual predators.  Not to mention the undocumented numerous cases of bullying.  Of beatings.  Of all these many forms of discrimination.

Things need to change.
And we need to do our part.

The March to the very least shows we are not afraid.

So I challenge you gay guys out there in Manila.    Stop being content with hiding.    Stop thinking you aren't part of something bigger.   Take that step.  Join the March.

Make a difference.
Be represented by being there to represent yourself.

We can fill the world with rainbows.
We can help make it a better place.

---
thanks to my partner Rocky for most of the pictures of last year's Pride March.
I promise, 2011, I will do all I can to be with you when we attend it.