My Piss Story

A few days ago, I was forced to stay and work much later than usual.  Anticipating it was going to be horrible, I decided to fill a water bottle with some water and a dash of Extra Joss in order to have easy access to a caffeinated drink when I needed a good kick.   True enough, I was stuck in traffic for almost two hours before I finally got home and one could imagine how miserable I felt.

Extra Joss + water in a used water bottle

Things only got worse when I boarded the elevator and moved to one corner to wait in silence for the darned thing to finally reach my floor.  People started coming and and most were giving me strange looks as I held my water bottle and pondered on what was eating them.

The corner

When the ride got even further delayed by some guy who was yelling at us to hold the door, I decided to stay quiet and just seethe in silence.  After all, I easily imagined how everyone else was earlier stuck in traffic like me and were dying to just get home.  I know I was in a rush.  I still had to wake my partner for work and prep something for breakfast/dinner.  I was fidgeting in my corner and wasn't aware of how uncomfortable I probably looked.

Re-enactment:  Clearly I did not look this amused when it happened.

When the elevator stopped two floors away from me, I decided to take a swag to pass the time.  To my surprise, one kid suddenly gasped out and declared, "Mommy yucky!"  And I immediately slid my hand over my face, neck, and shirt to see if I had spilled on myself or had some bug or something on me.  The woman shook her head, told her son, "No..." but then had a double-take and looked at what I had in my hand again.

I guess I WAS holding it this way too.

And that's when it hit me.

They thought that I was stuck in traffic like them and for some reason did this:

Disclaimer:  Not me.  If it was, I'd need a bigger bottle with a wider mouth.

 And for some reason, decided to drink it back in.

Oh poor me.
I still can only wonder why they even thought I would go drink my own pee in the first place.

I mean, come on, 

do I really look like someone who enjoys watersports?

They make a rainbow... where did you think them NIPS came from?

Are you REALLY worth it?

An interesting question was raised to me earlier while I was at my favorite haunt regarding relationships.   I showed up to hang with my friends when out of the blue, someone who I have only begun to know as a friend threw me an interesting query:

How does one know when someone is worth it?

It seemed like a strange thing to ask, given we were at O bar enjoying our drinks while dancing to Kylie, Duffy and other wonderful singers.  The mood, though muddled a bit by a pair of horrendous monkeys who were practically dry humping on the stage, was far from serious and the drinks were still in their infancy.  I considered the fact that it may have been a question that had been nagging the said person's mind and he may have opted to ask me for my opinion given he knew me to be both old and much more introspective about things.

I repeated the question aloud and thought about it for a moment.  After all, the question had much more weight than one would expect.  Is a person's "worth", for example, something that another person has the right to determine?  Would factors such as occupation, personal wealth, good breeding, eloquence of speech and courage to come out be valid standards to forge the proper measure of a gay man?  Would judging another based on such color one as being materialistic?  Or a bigot?  Or even elitist?

We've all found ourselves at one point or another questioning our
own self-worth because of how another abused our trust and love.

Deciding it was best to get a better picture of why the question was asked, I prodded for more information and soon it became clear based on his answers why the question came to mind.  In brief, the guy had sacrificed numerous things for the other, thinking the other guy was a sure candidate for a long-term relationship, only to be rebuffed with a statement about not "wanting to be tied down" and then countered with accusations of flirting around with others and the like.   While I decided to tip-toe away from the dangerous quest of knowing whether the accusations or complaints were valid, I realized the specifics of why he asked the question were irrelevant to how I ultimately would answer the question.   And my answer was this:

The question of whether a person one likes is worth the effort or not is a question only the person involved can honestly answer.  

While other people may have opinions, informed or not, about the other, the person involved remains the sole holder of the right to decide if the other is worth his time.

Take for instance a couple where one is a wealthy, well-connected man of high profile status.  The man may be raking in thousands per week, driving the best car money can buy, and practically be a celebrity in his field of practice.  Some (and most of the time these would be parents or titos and titas) would say such a person is a great catch! That someone who is that successful is worth it, no matter how he is as a person.  For some, such a person can even be a habitual liar who sleeps around with total strangers, or a manipulative bastard who brainwashes his friends to like him by bribing them with gallant displays of generosity.  The idea that he's successful is worth those "tiny" problems.

On the other hand, imagine if one of the people in the couple happens to be a man who proclaims himself some kind of modern day hippie, despising work and relishing on spending his days doing practically nothing under the guise of searching for artistic perfection.  The lazy slob might automatically be deemed as worthless by others who think the fact he doesn't earn his keep makes him less of a man.  

But sometimes, such a strange mix can still work.  Sometimes, the unfaithful bastard in the first example might simply have psychological issues that the other understands and accepts.   Or sometimes, the sloth in the second example might truly be fantastically creative when the moment hits him and his partner embraces that probability and waits with him for that moment.

It takes two.  Two people who sleep around freely in a real open-relationship would work.
But one doing so, while the other has no idea or is kept from doing the same... that's doomed to fail.

Are these relationships doomed to fail?  Are they bound to work?

Maybe.  The only ones who can really answer that are those involved, if you ask me.  Yes, maybe they can be abusive.  Maybe they can be unfair.  But if the people involved ultimately are happy, then they deserve that happiness, as twisted and inappropriate as others might deem it.  Hey, come on, think about it.  We are gay.   We are in same-sex relationships.  A majority of the people of the world already deem us immorally inappropriate and biologically wrong.  

Does that make the relationship worth it, though?  Does that make it worth the pain?  The anguish?  The self-doubt?

Maybe.

Be honest.  

But while ideals are far from typical, I personally believe that one should always strive to at least reach for them.  And in a relationship, the ideals I uphold are those of Trust, Sensitivity, Patience and Responsibility.

In a relationship that is worth it, I believe both couples strive to maintain an ever present existence of trust with one another.  Trust after all, once broken, can take quite much more time than expected to heal.  And worse, many mistake a "bahala attitude" as trust.    Sensitivity, on the other hand, when present already reduces the presence of infidelity, selfishness and shallowness.  When one learns to hold one's partner's feelings in mind, one remains conscious of things that may strain the other's trust and patience.  A sensitive person would never hit on someone else, because that person knows such an act can be painful to the other.  A sensitive person would never claim to be okay with something, then complain about it once the other actually does it.  Patience is the glue that strengthens the three.  When one is patient in a relationship, one embraces the fact that no matter how close and wonderful two are together, one accepts the truth that they are still two different people.  And two different people may have differences in opinions, interests, or taste.   One learns to respect the needs of another, but, guided by sensitivity and empowered by trust, knows that such time will not be abused to the point it leaves the other feeling dejected or unwanted.   And lastly, Responsibility.  Knowing what resources exist in the relationship, from the material (cash) to the immaterial (time) and understanding that one has to treat such things with a much more mature perspective.  Many who simply "do what they want since no one is complaining" fail to realize how irresponsible they are.  Such people try to throw the blame on the other for not "telling them to stop" as if they were not given the brains to realize how abusive they are getting.

(I posted about this here too, for those who haven't read it.)

And with those said, we return to the question:

How does one know when someone is worth it?

I think ultimately we all can try to assume someone is for an unspecified period of time.  When we find someone we like, or feel we have a connection to, we decide, "Yes this person is worth it" for a period of time.  Ironically, this period of time tends to be the time we are merely getting to know someone more.  During this period, we cancel plans to make time for the other.  Or cancel purchases to treat the other out somewhere we like.  Many make the mistake of putting their best "show" forward, rather than being themselves, thinking it would be better to "win someone over" by showing them an "ideal" rather than to let someone get to know them as them and face the consequences.    But I personally don't think there's anything wrong with assuming someone is worth it this early.

In fact, I think ultimately, we never know for absolute certain if someone is worth it.  We can only assume.  Or rather, to be more accurate, we can believe the other is.

When we find someone we feel is worth it, we make a leap of faith.  We trust in something that doesn't exist.  We give that someone a chance to show us otherwise.  And sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes, we give more chances.  Sometimes, we give up.  Too soon.   Too late.

But we believe.

And that is a belief no one can tell us is wrong.  Because as individuals we have the right to make such decisions.   What we should never do, however, is blame the other for choosing to believe.    (We can always, however, curse them for lying if they do.)  And if we find someone who deserves us, it won't be hard to see how they too took that chance and believed in us.

And reached for the same ideals you had.

Leaping ain't too hard if you know you're both doing it for each other.

There is no harm in loving.  No harm in caring.  No harm in believing.
But if that trust is shattered, that sensitivity is trampled on, that patience is broken, and that sense of responsibility is abused, I only hope that you realize these things and remember:  You deserve better.

And someone out there, deserves you too.

Again, Dear Zac,

Oh my.  You really are not making this any easier for me are you?  More promo pictures of your upcoming new movie have come out and all I see are pictures of a man who feels haunted and rough.  Gone are all traces of the whiny girlie boy who kept shaking his ass in front of that girl who had a sex pic scandal.  (On hindsight, where are YOUR sex scandal pictures anyway?   They should be out by now!)

The pictures.   I was talking about the pictures.

Not you.

But yes, you once again are making me struggle to hold strong to my former views of you.  Nice guns too.  As fantastic as your body was before, I really love the fact you're headed towards beefier rather than direction of being another one of them fat-phobic-muscle twinks.  All that's missing now is a lush growth of chest and navel hair, and we  know from your old pics that the fuzzy chest and rich treasure trail are already pumping in your genes.  Just please stay AWAY from the damned razor.  No waxing, please.

(very high resolution proof here)

I see you like packing stuff in the rear.

Seriously, Zac, let's leave the shaving for the rest of the world out there.   Same with the tattoos.  The LESS the better.   Frankly, I rather you stick to fake ones.  You look great without having to clip the fuzz and stain the skin.  Keep it that way.   Hell, you don't even have to swing our way.

Please be a fake tattoo.  Please be a fake tattoo.

Okay, fine.  If you really want to, I won't stop you.  But please, give Ang Lee an call and tell him it is time to make a new gay movie.  Perhaps you can persuade him to adapt the Carlo Vergara's One Night in Purgatory into a full length film.  Just be sure to remind Jake Gyllenhaal that he has to be in the movie too.   Tell him I can introduce you all to Carl too.  I'm sure he will like that.

This comic needs a movie adaptation.
And I mean a really good one.

Just don't do the mistakes Chris Evans (for Captain America) and Stephen Dorff (for the movie Somewhere, featured in the latest issue of V Man) have made.  Shaving is a thing of the past.  Today is a time when you can flaunt your fuzziness!

Sighs.

Dear Zac Efron

This may come as a shock to you, but while I actually was a fan of High School Musical (and only the first movie), I never really found you hot.  Your features and eyes seemed strange to me.  I thought you looked more like a "better built Michael Jackson" than Michael Jackson.   Your smile was awkward in the wrong way and while you did have a nice singing voice (which I learned later was dubbed with another person's voice) I just didn't get why so many other people were dying to sleep with you.

And yes, I will admit, for someone of your age and looks, you have a fantastically fit body.    I know of so many people who would die to touch your arms, caress your chest, and maybe even fondle your armpit hair if given the chance.

Strangely, I was not one of them.

To keep it simple, I just didn't think you were all that.
Well, not until I saw these pictures:

Now.

Let me say this, Zac.
And this is to be immortalized on my very blog.
You are HOTNESS.

Or at least you have become in my eyes.    

From some squeaky strange mannequin-like boy you have transformed yourself in these pictures into a well-defined shapely man who carries himself in a no-nonsense attitude.  You wear clothes that actually suit you and have framed your once elven features with just enough fuzz to actually look like a man.

Finally, in my eyes, I see you and I can believe you have a penis.

Okay, that was a lie.

I always knew you had one.

But at least now I am certain it is a manly one.

(I was tempted to get into more detailed adjectives but then realized too many readers might end up making a mess on their laptops, iphones and public libraries.  So I will just leave it at that.)

But yes, Zac Efron, you have done very well in this pictorial.
Thanks to these pictures, I am now able to say,
"Yes, Zac Efron is hot!"

A pity this won't be a look you'll be sporting forever.

I just hate how Hollywood prefers its men clean and hairless like a prepubescent boy's testicle.  Seriously.  Men have hair for a reason.  Hair is hawt!  

We were the Gayest Superhero duo!

My partner and I decided to dress up this year as the gayest super couple in comics:  Midnight and Apollo of The Authority.  I wrote up much more about it in my other blog.  I definitely had a great time this year and I am happy to know my partner really enjoyed getting dressed for this holiday too.

After rocking with the geeks at Hard Rock cafe, we dressed down and headed to Malate for the Blackparty event.  Thankfully, we were able to avoid most of the lines thanks to our loyalties to O Bar.  

It was a fun Halloween.  Nothing over the top but definitely not a waste of the weekend either.   We posted the rest of the pictures at facebook.  Makes one wonder what we will come up with in the coming years.  

Happy Halloween Everyone!

[so easy] Home-made Ice Cream

It doesn't help that he's pretty hawt for a cook.
Bonus points for posing with a cute piglet!

As some of you readers know, I've only recently learned to cook.  After years of watching Jamie Oliver's The Naked Chef and Nigella Lawson's Nigella Bites and other similar shows, I've always wanted to one day find myself being able to cook for the man I love.  Being a geek, I had my fears that cooking would be one of those skills totally out of my reach.  I mean, hey, I have no dreams of becoming some kind of a kitchen deity, but I do want to be able to surprise my partner with a home-cooked meal one day.  Who knew that by this time, this year, I'd be not only able to cook meals for my partner, Rocky, but also create things which I myself never thought possible.

And one such "impossible" thing that I would want to share with you readers is this:  

Home-made Super Easy to do Ice Cream.

This is our home-made ice cream topped with some Dark Chocolate topping!

Ingredient: 

Bananas
Seriously, that's it.  Bananas are all you need.

Optional:  

Anything else you might want to add to it after such as peanut butter, chocolate syrup, milo, etc.

Equipment:

Knife

Freezer

Blender

Step 1:  Allow the bananas to get nicely ripe.  In fact, a little bit more over-ripe is better.  Once the bananas as starting to feel softer than firm... the brown ones are BEST!
Step 2: Cut up the bananas into slices.
Step 3: Freeze.
Step 4: Assuming it has been a few hours, or even a few days, and the craving for ice cream finally hits, take frozen banana slices from freezer, and toss into blender.
Step 5: Blend nicely, but not too much.  Too much and you may end up with something more like puree.  Just blend it enough to get the nice creamy texture of ice cream.  You'd be surprised how the non-blended bananas mix nicely with the blended parts to form tremendously delicious ice cream!

This is an example of blending TOO MUCH.
More a Banana Smoothie than Ice Cream.
So to make up for it, just tossed in a Flat Top and some chocolate sauce.

Step 6: Eat! Or add the stuff you want, then eat!

So yes, it is THAT simple.

Rocky found this recipe online and while we were very skeptical at first, it seemed easier than the other ice cream recipes that we found (some required looking for liquid hydrogen.  Another used ice cube trays to create the ice cream.  And all needed so many ingredients... milk, creams, etc.)  This recipe was surprisingly simple yet very delicious and fulfilling to eat!

I highly recommend you try it to surprise the man you love!

Reading Between the Updates

The foundations of a relationship can sometimes be gleaned by simply keeping a keen eye on what either of the two seem to celebrate the most.    While a great connection and a rich sex life are both vital to a relationship, one can discern quite easily by glancing at the details what one or the other celebrates the most in their relationship.  It is in such introspections that social media such as Mark Zuckerberg's blue logo monstrosity, Facebook.com, or one's blog can be much more revealing than one expects.

Who needs to worry about losing one's privacy to Facebook
when we're all too willing to already over-share information?

I know of a pair who when I first heard of them was talked about as the perfect sweetest couple EVER.   In many ways, their relationship was deemed to be a prime example of a perfect gay long term relationship.  But then in the scant number of months leading to their break-up, it was quiet evident that all their posts were about themselves and their own INDIVIDUAL celebrations of life.    Updates tended to focus on how one, rather than both, or even at least one talking about the other, enjoyed their day.

"Hit the gym.  Feeling good.  I love today."

"Decided to catch the latest Bond movie.  Should be fun."

"Got a haircut.  Love my new look."

Me.  I.  All about the person and not about them.  All about enjoying life alone.
I couldn't help but wonder when I read them, "Where they not ever together?!?!?"  At one point, the two ate at some Italian restaurant.  Their updates then followed.

"Had delicious pasta today.  Love the food here!"

Came one update.  Okay, so he was enjoying his night... even if it sounded alone.

The other, around the same time, sent this update:

"Bored.   Anxious to go home.  Good food at least."

And again, barely any hint of being together. 

Maybe it was a case of being in the closet.  Or maybe it was a hint that the other wasn't too keen on where they decided to go that night.  But one would have thought the updates would have at least hinted that they were hanging out at the same place.


When things fell south, many were devastated.  To many, it was unthinkable.  How could they have ended such a "perfect" relationship?  I didn't even bat an eyelash.  I could see it a mile away.  They were too happy with their own lives they did not really enjoy sharing it with one another.

Yep, the POKE icon is actually a hidden taunt at what you are.

Another pair I heard of is a stranger mix.  While I don't know them personally, the mutual friends who we share often tell me of what they read in their newsfeed.  Supposedly, the updates that flow have a clear theme.  Travel.  Expensive things.  Costly food.  Outlandish indulgences.  While living a money-landen life is not bad in any way, celebrating them alone does make one wonder:  what is the other doing other than financing all this?    Even worse, all these celebratory posts are to cheer about "they are mine" rather than "we now own this!"  In some ways, I've tried to be more open-minded about such relationships, but deep down I fear the day when the shit hits the fan.  Somehow I already can tell if things go south, "How do we survive this" will come only after the question, "What do I keep?"


Then, there is this pair I know of which loves to play the switcharoo game in their social network updates.  The two are greatly in love and passionately care for one another, but due to personal reasons are openly exploring having sex with other partners.   My feelings on open relationships aside, I am happy that they do at least keep an honest and open flow of communication between them - honestly sharing if they found someone interesting and discussing whether or not it is alright to have fun with the said person or not.  None of the "I'll claim to be single/your ex" manipulations in play.  So their social network updates are tailored to hit the said "market".  I applaud them for their courage in choosing to wade in what I feel is potentially dangerous waters.  The risk of tearing apart trust can be tremendously detrimental to a long term partnership.


I do however pity the poor soul who becomes the victim of their united front.    I can only hope that the poor sod at least is given a clear understanding of what the situation is, and isn't lead on to think he's in a relationship with a single man.

To quote, Sharleen Spiteri and Johnny McElhone,
"You can say what you want, but it won't change my mind, I'll feel the same about you."

And of course there are those who keep their private lives to themselves.  A friend of mine is married and between the two of them, only she had a facebook account.  Her updates are often hilarious, giving an insider glimpse of the industry she works in and she rarely posts actual updates about her husband.   However, on the times that she does, one can easily see the honesty and affection they contain.  No pomp and overly dressed statements that try to make the relationship sound more fantastic than it really is.  Just an honest statement of how well things are between them.

There will always be them liars out there.
Or worse.

Ultimately, people who embrace the idea of having a virtual presence in a social network tend to seek an outlet to share openly things they appreciate and celebrate.  And what these things are can give another a good glimpse of what to expect of the person who wrote those updates.   While it ain't a precise science, I think it wouldn't take a special degree in anything to discern what kind of a guy one would have to be to post affectionate messages aimed anonymously to someone as status messages, when the guy's said partner is clearly someone who supposedly doesn't go online.  Or what to expect from a date with someone whose profile picture still shows him wearing the favorite shirt his ex gave him.   

Sometimes, deny what one wilt, the updates reveal the details indeed.
So if you have a facebook account, well, maybe you ought to take a step back and look at how your updates normally sound.  That may give you a better idea on why some people know you better than you think!