Woof: Sam Jaeger

Sam Jaeger, where have you been all my movie watching life?
Please make MORE movies.  Without clothes is fine.
In a suit and suspenders is even better.
:-)

Mansome?

A film all about the existence of fuzzy guys?
Yes please.

Thanks to Square Hippies for letting me know of this movie.

Jakey... Why..

I'm starting to have some doubts that End of Watch will be a good movie.
I dunno why but the hype for it isn't really making me feel excited for it.

There is some talk about the movie having a Cloverfield/Chronicle feel with footage coming from hand held cameras and the like.  Which for me means poor Jakey won't be visibly handsome in many of the shots :-(

I guess I just have to hope for... something... good...

Oh.

:-)

review: 306

I received a comment some posts back which invited me to check out a film called "306"  after a quick email check to see if it was just some spam bot, I decided to try watching it with my partner.  The film, by Elliot London, follows a day in the life of Eric who seems to be a student with a secret of his own.  The shots are meticulously taken with nice attention to framing and color.  (I felt bad though when I thought I saw a continuity error when the phone flips from vertical to horizontal at one point when Eric receives and writes a text message).  A lot of nice camera angles populate the film, with shots that tease just enough without giving away too much.

Lovely lighting.  Really lovely use of lights and the touch of shadows.  I also like how the extras were very full of character without being caricatures or distracting.  And the locations were very nice (save for a small gripe in the end as I mentioned below).

But as impressive as the film looks, I have to admit I had some issues with it.   The lead, played by Scott-Lynch Giddings (i think since his name does come first in the credits after the Writer-Producer-Director), does have some acting chops but still needs to refine his ability to convey emotions.  The scene on the couch (which is previewed in the vimeo still image below) looked a tad more campy than was perhaps intended.    And the scenes that followed prior to the big "reveal" in the end felt overly dramatic to me.

The music was nice, although expected given the art-film approach the short has.  The choice of using Clair De Lune - Claude Debussy was kind of predictable.   I have to commend the film maker though for nicely timing the music to hit the perfect mark in the end of the short film.

I didn't quite get the need for showing how boring his student life is.  I didn't see how it related to the story at all, other than to serve as a filler til the real meat of the narrative was achieved.  Did his boredom with how school life flows lead to the latter half of the movie?   I felt it was there only to fill the space needed before the "big reveals" since the reveals affected what could be showed.

Here's the short film, for those who want to see it.  Be warned, after the video, I continue on the review with a much more spoiler filled elaboration.  So be warned.  But do find time to watch this short.  It is definitely worth a see.  Just keep in mind, there is some nudity, so it is definitely NOT safe for work.


"306" Short Gay Film from Elliot London on Vimeo.

Spoilers follow below.
Spoilers follow below.
Spoilers follow below.
Spoilers follow below.
Spoilers follow below.

I hope that's adequate warning for those who want to keep away from any spoilers from this beautifully crafter film.

And yes, I do mean that with all my heart:  This film is beautifully crafted.  The shots are like paintings in how they are composed.  The camera knows how to reveal things, whether it be the name Sam and Eric on the refrigerator door or the idea of how pressured Eric feels with the composition of the school shots.

But the film, sadly, is very deceptive.  First of all, it calls itself "306 Short Gay Film" when clearly it isn't one. The main point of the title is to deceive the viewer at the beginning and reinforce the illusion to make the end reveal gimmick work.   A gay film isn't any film that has gay sex in it.  A gay film definitely isn't any film that contains male prostitution in it.  A gay film is a film that explores the life or a part of the life of a gay person, which typically does mean the main character in the film is gay (whether it mean he already is gay, still is in the process of coming out, or is greatly in the denial phase of being gay.)  None of that seem to apply in this film at all, unless one really stretches the idea and considers Eric to be a bisexual guy in a straight relationship with a woman he loves, and is doing gay sex to make ends meet.    And that, quite frankly is a stretch of a connection to make, given how he clearly shows his devotion and love for Sam, and how guilty and dirty he feels about having done gay sex (especially reinforced by the fact he not only SHOWERS while crying in the hotel room where he did the deed, but cleans up AGAIN and washes his face while facing the mirror at home).   So does the film want us to see him as a bisexual who has chosen to live a "straighter" life but does "dirty gay sex" because they need the money?  I don't know.  The job was because he got a text message from a friend who needed him to "cover for him".  So I don't think Eric was ever forced to do this to make ends meet.   He didn't show any resignation or negative reactions to getting the message from his friend.  He did not hesitate to inform Sam that he will be late.   It sounded more like it was a job he pretty much was accustomed to doing.  Never in all the film do we ever see Eric looking at anyone else who looks remotely gorgeous in the movie.  So his sexuality is pretty much the straightest man a straight man can be.   Or at least a bisexual guy who is 100% devoted to his woman that he'd get fucked for the money they need.  (But since he's studying  and since she left early, the idea is she's working, do they need the money?)

Again, what makes this a gay short film?  Does a blow job between men immediately make a film a gay film?  Does a film exploring a straight guy doing gay sex make this a gay film?  Is he a closeted bisexual who loves his woman, but loves gay sex, then has an emotional guilty moment each time after he gets his gay hunger fed?  Or did the film maker really just want to have his "Aha!" moment by calling this a short gay film, when in truth, it isn't?

What does the film want to say?

Which brings me to the title.  Maybe this is all because I don't get what the title means either.  It could be a cultural thing, or a reference I didn't quite grasp.  But a quick attempt to see what 306 can mean brings up this list, this list, and this list.  I know 306 is an area code in Canada too, so I wonder if the title was meant to refer to that.  I can imagine the title could have attempted to be very symbolic and refer to 360, or a full circle, but not reaching that point.  The guy fails to completely turn gay again or something.  But that feels pushing it.  Was it the amount of money he gets?  When the cash is handed to Eric's waiting hand, it does look like a wad of bills and some coins.  Funny though to have six dollars in change.  I guess prostitution has its own taxes to cover?

A quick gripe too on how in the end, we see Eric get home, with his bag in hand, and seemingly blocks the door open with his bag, then uses the bathroom and comes out from the general same spot, making him look like that door was also the door to the bathroom.  I know there's supposed to be a bathroom door somewhere off cam on the right, but that was sort of a sloppy shot.    Not to mention the way he walks in with his bag makes you think the door was a door from the hallway.  But since he keeps it open, it makes one realize it should be a door from the living room or something.  Argh.

So over-all, I will end this review this way:

To Ramblergirl, thank you for sharing me the link and asking me to take a look at it.  I do apologize if my review above might not be all to your liking, but I do believe you would all appreciate honesty rather an a generic response of flattery that did not try to really look into your work and appreciate it.

To Elliot London, I will again say I admire your sense of composition and the use of the camera.  I love the technical aspects of your work.  I do still wonder what message was intended and why the film has to be labeled a gay short film.   I worry that some might even take offense and accuse you of exploiting the term gay.  I hope it has not come to that.    And I do look forward to seeing more of your work someday.  Hopefully with more thought given to the writing and how over-all a message is delivered.  But kudos and congratulations on this creation :-)  Making films is never easy.  Nor is the inevitable receipt of how viewers react.  But hey, you've gotten over 60,000 views already in barely two weeks.  That is still cause for celebration!

And to everyone else, I do recommend you watch the film.  You might like how the story is portrayed and what techniques were used in telling the story.  Definitely worth checking out.

The many ways a Jakey kisses

Oh yes.  Gotta love the subtle nuances of how different they are.
:-)

Michael Fassbender got a bender all right...

So that is why Mystique joined him.

X-Men First Class

All About Paying Strangers to Touch Me

One of the few vices I have is the need to self-indulge and get a massage at least once a month.   Being both someone who can drive, and tends to use the computer for a larger part of each day, it is not uncommon for me to develop aches and pains along my back, leg, shoulder and neck areas.   Thankfully, in the Philippines there are many options available for one such as myself to find a great massage.  Each one of course has its own pros and cons.  One thing remains true however, the paid pampering is beautifully affordable especially when one considers how much such a service costs in North America and other countries.  The price for a full-body massage in Los Angeles costs the same amount of money for an extended three hour massage plus full day spa wet area services here.

Some people don't like massages because they're ticklish.  Thankfully, I'm not one of them.

Rather than elaborate on the health benefits and perceived medical therapeutic merits of a massage, I will leave that for you readers to just Google up.  Instead what I will talk about is how I feel about what makes a massage a good one, and how I feel about how the industry has been colored or affected by the gay peso.

It amazes me how many points in the body supposedly make another part of the body better.
But if this were the case, shouldn't martial arts thereby make someone healthier with each painful blow?

I am a sucker for being pampered big time.    After spending hours each day working at my laptop, or having to take long hourly drives to and from work, getting a massage is one of the many perks I look forward to having when the opportunity and budget permits.  I love having a strong, drawn out massage where the masseur takes time making sure every inch of me is properly and legally kneaded nicely.  I prefer my massages as hard and purposeful and appreciate those who really look for the areas where the knots and bumps have accumulated.   I hate masseurs who seem to be in a rush to finish the job, or are too preoccupied with other things rather than finding the right pressure points that need attention.  I recall this one spa I used to go to where the masseuses would be chatting away with each other about how much they've made or what new domestic problem has cropped up in their lives while we clients had our faces down against the bed hoping they'd shut up.

I also like it when the masseur stops trying too hard to either seem sensual or be too careful.  Some of them are too fixated at the misconception that all gay guys who get a massage are easily going to go for a cheap thrill that they try too hard to get you aroused.  I personally think its more embarrassing for the masseur than it is for me when I tell the guy, "Hindi yon ang pinunta ko dito." ("That's not what I came here for.")  Others, on the other hand, get too worried of making that kind of a signal that they do all these weird positions to keep from touching your leg, butt or back while maneuvering to find a comfortable position to work on your body.   I have told such masseurs before, "Just sit.  I don't mind.  Sit on my legs if it helps.  I rather you can focus on the massage then worry about where to rest your weight."

Thank God I found a spa where I can freely walk towel-free and just let it hang and relax.
And no, I'm not sharing what spa that is.

Nudity is a huge requirement for me when it comes to having a massage.  Most places seem to prefer that the client wear a pair of shorts (typically the kind held up with an elastic waistband which is provided by the spa) or that the client still wear underwear during the session.  In such cases, towels are then draped over the body and later on, curled up to be hooked against the shorts leg or padded over the buttocks when the underwear is brought lower for the buttocks and lower back portion of the massage.    I personally would rather be naked when I get my massage.  Being hairy, I've had times when the act of rolling the towel against the shorts ends up snagging some of my pubic or leg hair.  Painfully.  There have also been times when the masseur tries to pretend the shorts aren't there and continue the massage as normal, but all he accomplishes is having his fingers fumble against a cloth layer than greatly diffuses the impact of the massage.   

What I find a bit disheartening, however, is how there seems to be a misconception that massages have to be equated to something sensual or even sexual the moment the client is someone who is gay.  The moment a guy like me asks for a masseur instead of a masseuse, the sexual implications are quickly brought up one way or another.  The kind of massage shifts from shiatsu to something else with repeated accidental brushings of a hand or lingering finger against one's scrotum or ass.  Occasionally the oil bottle is innocently dropped between one's thighs for frequent frictionless contacts with the inner thighs.  On thankfully rarer occasions, you get everything from casual "readjusting your penis" from the area being massaged, to direct nipple stimulation, to downright suggestive requests.   I recall one masseur asking me after a particularly relaxing session lead to me getting a chubby (which was less due to him and more due to me having a tall glass water before the massage.), "Sir gusto mo ba ng hot tea o cold water?" ("Sir, do you want hot tea or cold water?)  The message seemed quite out of place considering I was practically falling asleep that moment and on hindsight must have been some kind of coded offer.  It seems he mistook my need to pee as an invitation to offer something extracurricular.   Even conversations among gay friends about getting good home-based massages quickly degenerate to rumors as to which masseur tends to do "certain things."  In many ways, this mindset was further popularized by recent indie movies that tackled the industry (although I sense the filmmakers would very easily make a case that they only made "visible" what has been going on all this time.)

Try looking for "The Masseur" or "Ang Masahista"  which despite having some scenes that seem to linger too much on the sexual nature of massages, is a really well written, beautifully shot movie.

And while I will admit that there can be some erotic level of flirty fun in the idea that a guy will run his hands all over another guy to make him feel good, I don't exactly find myself looking for the cheap thrills of wandering fingers whose touches against my body are more born from the desire to make more money.  


I do wish though that there were more interesting and yet legal massage options available.  A friend of mine once shared how he was able to get a massage while on a trip abroad which was accomplished by the masseuse using her mouth the whole time.  There was also the other massage a friend of mine indulged in where two women massaged him all over with the use of those scrubbing gloves.  It was like being licked by two gentle tigers, he called it.   Or maybe something as simple as having two masseurs rub you down at the same time.  However, I don't see how such massages would ever been deemed acceptable here in the Philippines.  Considering the Lingam massage issue that lead to the raiding of numerous massage establishments (some of which were admittedly not of the legal kind) in Cebu and Marinduque, and how there are groups already preparing to cry scandal over such a decent condom commercial such as this:




I highly doubt the country would ever be able to have anything more interesting than the standard offers any time soon.  Somehow I sense one would sooner see a legally protected group devoted to supporting discrimination than a greater open-minded viewpoint begin to exist in this country.  Oh wait, that already is happening.


Ultimately, I wish people were more aware that spas are not bath houses, and that massages are not automatically opportunities for cheap thrills or shallow sex.  I do find myself wondering though, would offering a prostate massage be a good next step in the evolution of a more socially acceptable massage place?

Pamper Package! Full body Shiatsu Massage + Body Wash + Prostate Massage for only...
uh, not gonna happen.  :-)

Currently, my partner and I have been looking into the possibility of home-based massage services.   Typically, I drive us to a nearby spa to get a massage, which tends to have me driving a sleepy boyfriend back home through heavy traffic.  A home-based option would allow me to get enough relaxation as well as reduce the horror of traversing Manila's traffic-laden streets.  Our first few attempts have been interesting with their own share of fun anecdotes, but that I will save for another blogpost in the future.  For now, I'm just gonna relax for a bit.    After all, when one get's a massage, being able to relax is the ultimate goal.  Or at least, it should be.

Generic Genres and Gender

I am currently at work today while my partner is resting at home and watching Wedding Wars, the campy movie starring Rob Lowe and Sean Maher.  (update : Oops, was it Rob Lowe or John Stamos!  I think I got it wrong)  In a recent post, I was musing about what makes a movie a "gay film" and I found myself wondering even more about that today.

Must homosexual situations always be present for a film to be considered a gay film?
And is that actually a good thing?

Part of what made my growing up tougher was the lack of positive masculine gay role models that I could look up to.  The closest I could remember at that time was Tom Hanks' role in Philadelphia where he played a gay guy with Aids who sued his company for discrimination.  Other than that, a large majority of gay characters I could watch were the extremes of campy femininity or closeted self destructiveness.

It didn't help either that locally back then, the concept of gay was not as broad as it is now.  The term bakla, which is generally used to refer to homosexual men, was actually much more defined as referring to a man who acted effeminately and tended to cross dress and carry himself with overly expressive theatrics.  Such a representation was made most popular by Roderick Paulate and the comedic characters of Dolphy, Joey de Leon and many many others.    The idea of a masculine gay guy was practically unheard of.  (Just as practically all lesbian characters back then were tibo, the women who tended to wear jeans and polo tee shirts with the sleeves rolled up and on their head, concealing the bun of hair, a cap worn backwards.  So for a long time, I didn't even think I was gay.  I didn't even think the term bisexual would apply to me.  All I knew was, I wasn't straight.  And I wasn't gay.  What I didn't realize back then was, I just wans't gay that way.

Even now, the image of the bakla and the tibo are still perpetuated on local television and movies.  It is only thanks to much more modern works like Carlo Vergara's Zsazsa Zaturnnah that the idea of a masculine guy who likes another man is being given some screentime (or in Zaturnnah's case, screen, stage and print time).

It makes me wonder when does something become labelled as a gay show or movie.  Is it simply the presence of campiness?  (And as a friend of mine put it, pag gay roles pero sobrang serious... art film yan, hindi gay film.)  Does having a gay lead automatically make it a gay show?  Ellen and Oprah's shows have a huge set of differences, but most people would easily say one is a talk show and the other is a gay show.

Is it the presence of gay themes and topics?  What then does that make Modern Family, since the show does have sharing the spotlight a third of the time a gay couple.  Part of what makes the show excellent for me is how they tackle gay issues and show such problems ain't limited to homosexuals.

Does it really boil down to the presence of gay sex?  Queer as Folk is definitely considered by some as a gay show.  Queer Eye is too but doesn't exactly have sex (although it does discuss sexuality and attractiveness a lot).

How does one define better this genre?  Should it even be considered to be a genre the way westerns are?  Does it empower to say Torchwood is a gay show with its sexually explorative charcters?  Or does it limit it to an unnecessary perception when it would be better to say it is a science fiction show.   Should the "gayness" of a show matter at all?  Do we want to make it a genre or subgenre of its own?

Or wouldn't it be nicer to have any show with gay elements still recognized as what they are in the standard definitions of entertainment - be it action, comedy, science fiction, or drama.

Sometimes I personally feel that removing the need to call any show or film "gay" would be better.  Not out of shame or anything similar.  But rather, so the film can be seen for what it is, and the gender of the characters be accepted as that and not highlighted like some circus freak being given the spotlight.  Torchwood for example is good campy sci fi.  Jack Harness being willing to sleep with anything, male, female or alien, is just an additional detail.  Caprica is doing well without having to overly highlight that one of the Adamas is gay.  Modern Family too nicely has the campiness without having to alienate others by calling it a gay show.

I can understand the want to be proud of being gay.  And in many ways, I can imagine others would argue I don't see the need to be too vocal about being proud since I am still in the closet.  But sometimes I think in all the calls for equality and equal rights, what many mistakenly are expecting is actually special treatment.

And with that kind of an expectation, we end up alienating ourselves from the world we're hoping to be accepted as equals.

It is possible though that I had horribly misinterpreted things.  Not being a scholar of gay culture and gender politics, I speak merely from things I had experienced and observed.  But I guess that's the point of having these things in a blog.  If anyone would love to share their own views, do feel free to leave a comment or two. :-)

So What Am I Into, then?

Having read my earlier posts, you probably are now wondering what I am then into?
Well, let's see if I can sum it up nicely here.

First of all, I am proudly a geek.

I love fantasy and science fiction (though not necessarily all kinds).  My favorite show is currently Lost.  My favorite movie, however, is American Beauty.  While I'm not into toy collecting, I do have a fondness for a lot of things 80s.  I miss 8-bit graphics, and I still have happy memories of Voltes V, Voltron (the Lions, not the vehicles), Macross, Gai King, Transformers, M.A.S.K., Spiral Zone, and more.  I am neither a Trekker, Trekkie or Star Wars addict, however I do appreciate both franchises.  Just not as much as I do Battlestar Galactica.  

I am a gamer.  I storytell game sessions of White Wolf Gaming Studio's World of Darkness line.  I have had my share of Dungeons and Dragons, but the flexibility and story crafting focus of the WOD appeals to me more than the hack and slash tactical feel of d20.   I still have my odd moments where I run either DC Heroes, Exalted, Children of Fire, Paranoia and more.

I am also a film maker.  I have worked on a few short films and have acted in a few.

I am a writer, with some published work under my name.  I have also written two short plays which have been produced by students from different universities.  I have also won some minor awards.

I am a comics geek.  I love various comics with Vertigo's limited run The Enigma winning first place.  I have a special spot in my heart for WE3, Sandman, Fables, Y The Last Man, Legion of Super Heroes, The Walkin Dead, The earlier Authority run,  Planetary, Shade the Changing Man, David Mack's Kabuki, Carlo Vergara's ZsaZsa Zaturnnah and Tobie Abad's Diliman.

I consider myself an artist even if I have feeble attempts at painting, line art, and computer generated artwork. I tend to have a strange unconventional approach to things.  I tend to come up with looks or designs that seem off-kilter or weird or strange.

I love horror.  Clive Barker hits me in the right spot.  Stephen King has his moments, but at times I feel he's overrated, treading over the same ground over and over again.  I would high recommend High Tension over Hostel.  Or Paranormal Activity over Dawn of the Dead.  I actually liked The Blair Witch Project, but more so because I was in the hype of it being real back when it was released before everyone knew it as some award winning indie film.  I actually enjoyed Cloverfield more than Godzilla.  I still think Freddy Kreuger is king and Jaws is a perfect horror film.  I've been trying to read more.  I used to love reading Banana Yoshimoto and Poppy Z. Brite.  I also had an Anne Rice phase.  Twilight disgusts me.  Wheel of Time puts me to sleep.  I'm now trying to get through Dune, which I am having trouble with not because it is badly written but because it is so well written I find it hard to skim through it too quickly.  Once I'm done, I'm going to whet my appetite with Murakami and Prachett.  I had a Piers Anthony phase too, but that quickly passed.

I love music.  I have over 200 different movie soundtracks and scores simply because I love hearing how people "translate" a story or mood into a song.  I am not that much into classical music although there are some pieces I do appreciate.   I am not into opera, however I do like Carmen and Carmina Burana.  I have my share of musicals, but top on the list is currently In the Heights, Repo a Genetic Opera, Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Rent.  As for musicians, I used to be very much into Tori Amos until she got a band to back her up.  I have a huge spot in my heart for Jason Mraz.  I still love Kylie, Mika, Lily Allen and Ne-Yo.  I am not so much into the divas however (and personally think Mariah Carey is waaaaay over-rated.)  I highly recommend Ingrid Michaelson, Adele, Zee Avi, Maria Mena and Jose Vanders.  Lady Gaga is fun to dance too, funner to watch, but not so much to sing.

I am online most of the time.  I don't like MMORPGs and refuse to see them as roleplaying games.  I tend to be online to be in touch with my friends or to read up on articles and forums I've subscribed to.  I am not much of a chat/webcam/camsex person and frankly, if you are, that's fine.  Just know I tend to really go out of my way to talk only to those who show a genuine interest getting to know me as a friend, rather than just for some one night sexual thing.  I am no longer in any gay social networks.  I quit once I got together with my partner and I see no reason to go back.  Such places 95% of the time are for hookups anyway.  I have Facebook and the like to keep in touch with friends anyway.

I do go out.  I have a very very small list of places that I frequent.  Given the choice, I rather stay home and drink with some friends since that allows me to be comfortable and just have fun.  No problems with people shoving me around.  No problems with drunk jerks making a scene.  Singing is cool.  Dancing is better.  But playing dress up only ever happens if there's enough alcohol and laughter to go around.

I am in a relationship.  My partner is a wonderful, sweet, sexy, intelligent man who shares with me a bond unlike any other.  We have conquered tidal waves and unexpected droughts, and we continue to grow stronger and more passionate each day.  We haven't been together long, but I have no doubts we will be together for much much longer than most expect.  I'd write here the kinds of men and women I find attractive, but I thought it might be best to save that for a future post.  Sadly as of this writing, I am still not out to my parents and family.  However, friends, co-workers and neighbors all know me to be gay.  My partner and I walk around malls holding each others hands.  We kiss when we want to.  We call each other "Love" and other endearments in public without fear or embarrassment.  But until I find the chance to come out to my parents (and more on why I haven't in future posts), I will have to keep things anonymous to some extent online.

For now, however, I hope this paints you a picture of the kind of stuff I am into.