Pride 2014

It is Pride month again and Rocky and I decided to show our love to O bar by creating a bunch of "posters" for the upcoming pride event.

Will you join us there this year?

Check it out:
http://www.baduypride.com/

One for each of us

Tatum for me...

Evans for Rocky...

Makes sense to me.

Know Your Oh Divas! - Part One

My partner and I don't really go out to drink and socialize that much.  Both of us are just not that kind of people.  But when we do, O Bar is pretty much one of the places we do love to dance the night away as we  celebrate our happiness.

There aren't that many places out there that are like O bar.  While most places seem more preoccupied with superficial things, O bar excels in just being a place where you can be yourself and enjoy the fabulous sights and sounds.  No pretensions.  No drama.

Among the many things we love about O bar, we truly, deeply, love the drag shows that highlight every single night.  Rocky decided to show even more appreciation for their talent and creativity by writing up a series of articles to help you get to know the Oh Divas.


Here's the first set of articles:

The Ethel We All Know As Nap
http://www.geeky-guide.com/2013/05/pink-scene-know-your-oh-divas-nap.html

The Sickening Dee Dee Holliday
http://www.geeky-guide.com/2013/05/pink-scene-know-your-oh-divas-dee-dee.html

The One and Only Eva Papaya
http://www.geeky-guide.com/2013/05/pink-scene-know-your-oh-divas-eva.html



The Captivating Kat Kat
http://www.geeky-guide.com/2013/06/pink-scene-know-your-oh-divas-katkat.html


So that's part one of the Know Your Oh Divas series of articles!
Will update you guys once my partner releases the next batch.
Til then, lots of love to you all!

Sorry, I couldn't get this out of my head...

Happy Birthday to the Geek behind the
Geeky Guide to Everything!

(And yes I corrected it!  Sorry! I didn't use IMPACT the first time around!)

A little Chris for my rOckY

Just posting a little something for my rOckY.

Happy Pride Everyone!

I'm Antonio Gabriel A. Abad IV, 34 years old

and I am proud to be a bisexual man in an committed, honest, loving gay relationship 

with my partner, Rocky Sunico.

(Rocky, me and our friend's baby.)

Happy Pride Everyone!

At our favorite haunt.

Being wacky while travelling.

The plaaaaane!

Attending a friend's wedding.

Geeking out with my dad over the Star Trek movie.

My first ever picture of Rocky.

Me on our second night of hanging out.

For now...

Alas, it seems someone has coughed up the cash to pay the reservation fee for the dream house Rocky and I were excited to get.  So it seems, either the world has an even better place waiting for us, or the current people are planing to hold on to the house and end up choosing to sell it again once Rocky and I are ready with the money.

Why am I talking such nonsense?  Because I don't believe it is nonsense.
Ever since I met Rocky, I've been constantly reminded by events in our relationship about how everything literally does happen for a reason.  Cancelled concerts, slight miscommunications, moments that test us, and even the loss of things, places, and people dear to us have all had their own reasons for happening.  For some, it can be an emotional reason that needed to go its course.  For others, a mental reason that needed to be played out.  And others, a physical tangible reason that is necessary for what came next to occur.

Everything happens for a reason.

And so, while it does feel saddening to learn that the house we both pretty much pegged our dream house is now likely to end up owned by someone else, I am not giving up.  I do believe we will find the house that we are intended to call our home.  And I still am very thankful for the many friends who offered their support, if not offered new job opportunities for me to try to increase my cash flow for the eventual purchase of our home.

The search continues.
The gathering of work continues as well.

And soon.
Rocky and I will find the place where we were meant to live the rest of our lives.
A place we can grow old together.
A place where we can say, "Yes, this is where we belong."

Thank you for your continued support, everyone.

HAPPY WHEELIE DAY!

 To my Rocky, who has taught me to believe that a person like myself does deserve to be this happy on a daily basis.  Happy Wheelie Day!  I love you so much!

The phrasing may be odd...

.. but I get what it wants to say.

Thanks to Rocky for this awesome new profile pic.

More Meat for my Man

This is for my Rocky.
He's a sucker for these hot hunks.



In return, he allows me to be shared with Jakey on some nights.
(Save for those they attack me at the same time!)

Check out: Baduy Pride!

Allow me to invite you all to Baduy Pride, http://www.baduypride.com/ a blog my partner, Rocky, and I have created in order to share and celebrate the joy of being Baduy! (Baduy = corny, cheesy, sappy, etc) Hope you guys start following the site!

See you there!

The (Unofficial) White Party of 2011!

Saturday marked the date for what was supposed to be the White Party celebration here in Manila, but the night before had a storm named Falcon (warning, NSFW link here) showing up and drowning many parts of the city under almost half a meter of water.  In what seems to slowly becoming a growing tradition for me and Rocky, we decided to come up with cool shirts we can wear for the event.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to find a design which celebrated both our geekiness and our gayness at the same time!

But sadly, thanks to the porn-studio-named typhoon, the official White Party was declared cancelled and was to be rescheduled on a different day.  Rocky and I, however, found ourselves still wanting to celebrate that night due to many reasons:  New York just legalized Gay Marriage, The Stonewall Riots were still an event to be remembered and celebrated, and our friend was still going to our favorite haunt, O bar, to introduce us to her partner.

So yeah, we pushed through with our "unofficial" White Party and wore our lovely shirts.  Here they are!

Blurry pic care of the elevator mirror.

For those who were curious, or aren't geek enough to grasp it, yes, the shirt designs were inspired by the PlayStation Portable game called Patapon.

Rocky's shirt.

And mine.

The best part?  The quote in the back of the shirt is an actual quote from the game!   To make the design, I actually had to dig around the net for two things:  high resolution images of the Patapons, and a font typeface of the font they actually use in the game.   The Patapons I was able to find, but not in the size I actually needed.  So to make it work for the design, I had to redraw the figures in Photoshop.   The font was more interesting.  There were files of the letters, but no actual font that I could find.  Many sites suggested directions on how to convert the file to a font, but I couldn't make any sense of it.  So what did I do?

I actually had to find ways to push the size of the text images to a high resolution and keep sharpening it for the design.  Thankfully, I got it to work!

Spank Them Bottoms!

Horror of horrors though, I worked on the Patapons too much to realize the big mistake that was present in the shirt designs.  The mistake?  Well, I used the WRONG RAINBOW.  The rainbow I had used was actually the traditional rainbow with all seven colors.  Ironic that I'd overlook that detail considering I had to actually redo the rainbow as well as the bisexual triangle icon for the high resolution needs of the design.

Proud to be Geeky and Gay!

Still, I feel pretty proud of our White Party shirts.  They weren't as big a hit with the people present as our Katamari Damacy inspired shirts before, but what mattered most was we loved wearing them.   In a celebration of being proud of who you are, wearing a shirt that you didn't just buy off the rack feels fantastic.

Hmm must start working out again.  I don't fill shirts like I used to.

It does make me wonder... come next Pride, what do we wear next!

Suggestions are always welcome :-P

Happy White Party!
Happy Gay Pride!

Reasonable to Reconnect

I've heard loads of excuses and reasons in my time.

Yes, you've heard it right.  Rocky and I have decided to become active in the revived Pinoy G4M webforum after being invited by one of their administrators to a sandwich party.   And so far, I do not have any complaints. There is always something nice about being back in touch with a network of people who share some of one's interests.  While Rocky and I have been delightfully part of the geek circles (ranging from Via Astris to Lost in the Philippines, all part of the New Worlds Alliance) as well as gaming circles, our range of gay friends has been in many ways reflected by those we either have already known for quite some time, or were ties through our respective exes (in many ways a combination of both).   I will have to admit that a large part of my choosing to stop being part of the gay social networks was the exhaustion that came with fending off far too many inquiries from total strangers if I was a top or willing to have sex.    Somehow, the idea that I was still on the network was enough reason to assume I was willing to play around even if I was clearly stating my presence was merely one seeking to find new friends.

Not everyone is a social manipulator.  Some of us are really just shy.

So yeah, after ceasing to be part of any for quite some time, we're back online and part of the network and barely a week in, we've already met some fun people who are quite entertaining to toss back and forth ideas and anecdotes.  While the flirtatious exchanges are still there, it is nice to see how a much larger majority of the messages sent around are more intellectually stimulating than not.  Already, a thread from another friend has created an "event" based on the Singapore PINK DOT 2011 YouTube video.  And even more interestingly is the small, but still present, interest that has been gained in being more active in the next Pride March.  (It is sad though that the location of the Singapore event prohibits foreigners from being part of the dot itself.  But that's life I guess.)

While we're not allowed to be part of the Singapore PINK DOT event,
we can still show our own support for the Freedom to Love.

As expected, there are already some who tease me as being a snob.  I don't blame them.  As social as I can get in face-to-face interactions, when meeting people for the very first time (and possibly up to the third time), I can be quite a challenge to connect with if the event is one which I am not typically comfortable with.  I tend to be a social mirror, adapting to a situation and following the trends of discussion, in such events - and unfortunately when faced with a group that seems to be familiar with everyone else save me, that strategy falters since most discussions become more of the inside-joke sort of talk.   But rest assured, given time, I'm sure some people will warm up to me and realize I'm not as snobbish as I may have projected myself.    People who easily and quickly connect with me, however, soon discover how much low maintenance a friend I actually am.   Rocky and I actually reconnected on G4M after merely seeing each other in brief instances during the New Worlds convention in Makati.    Neither of us expected the immensity of a connection we'd feel when we finally would meet face-to-face.

Rainbows can be different, after all.

But yeah, I am expecting that soon enough there would be some who wouldn't be too keen on having me now as part of the PinoyG4M site.  From experience, there will always be people who would find me and my strong opinions about certain things as something to complain against.  I've known of times when people misinterpret my friendliness as "come ons" and even know of two instances where a full-fledged narrative of a nonexistent relationship had already been created by the other party, and is still being cited as a reason to hate me.  But I guess that's why we queers are fruits; there will always be the good apples, and the bad ones.

Individuals meeting together = network

Overall, being back and active on PinoyG4M is a good feeling.  While I don't foresee it being an avenue for any hookups or what not (hello?  I'm happily with someone.)   I do excitedly look forward to finding more friends and possibly creating a bigger circle for gay geeks to share their thoughts on their favorite fandoms and games.  Maybe even someday drag them over to the Sietch for a party or to attend the next Open gaming meet?

Celebrate the Freedom to Love!

Here's to celebrating IDAHO (International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia) this May 17.
http://www.dayagainsthomophobia.org

A friend shared to me this link of how Singapore is taking part in it.  I only wish there was also a more visible way Pinoys can take part in the celebration.

Even Lady Gaga herself is participating.  Here's her quote on the event:

"That Humanity could find Togertherness. We are all different and it is that which makes us the same.  Be yourself, love who you are and be proud. You were born this way, baby."

I'm hoping to take part in the As I Am campaign.  Probably gonna tell Rocky about it once he wakes up.  While I may have had a long part of my life denying who I was and hating who I am, I am proud to have finally come to a point where I can celebrate being me and have no fears of whether or not the world will accept me.

I am me.

My name is Tobie Abad, and I am a bisexual, and I am not afraid to love who I love.

I only hope you can say you have the freedom to love too.

Is Tom Strong Strong Enough?

Read this earlier tonight and found myself amusedly thinking about the geekwood entry I posted on Tom Strong. DC Comics has been making interesting moves as of the late (with one of the biggest ones I question being the removal of certain popular Vertigo characters from the Vertigo universe due to legalese I rather ignore.)  With DC comic's cancellation of the Wildstorm line, Tom Strong sadly was to be one of its casualties.

Ooops, wrong Tom.  Then again  I guess you don't mind either.

In some ways, this did make me think about change in general.  About how things may become familiar to us that sometimes, while change may be good, the idea of letting go of something familiar can be a horrific idea.  Life has its moments where change can be good or bad.  Whether it be the small things such as changing the brand of soap you buy, or bigger things like choosing to move to another city, change will always have repercussions one way or another.

But what we forget is, while change may seemingly be inevitable, it does not mean it cannot be productive.

Ang matakot, talo.

Most of the time, the resistance to change is the fear of something new.  Familiarity is always a powerful comfort zone, even if what is familiar may be unhealthy or unwise.   Finding the courage to take a step towards something new can be difficult, but if one learns to focus on the facts, one can see the wealth of opportunity waiting ahead of them.  I recently learned to cook and for a long time, I refused to step outside the omelets and fried food I was making.  My partner insisted I try doing other things and eventually even got us an oven toaster to help me take a brave step away from the frying pan and into the baking oven.     Now, thanks to his support and faith in me, I have made a few new baked dishes, learned to even take a stab at doing more interesting salads (you should try my Cilantro-Eggplant salad one time!) and have dreams of actually moving towards baking my own bread and cooking steaks!

I love this book.
Someone should make a movie out of it.

Many also forget that change will always need time.  If you've made a habit of using Internet Explorer for years, the thought of switching to Chrome or Rockmelt might sound like too much effort.  Or might even be seen as *hard* since it will mean having to learn how to do things a bit differently.   I recall how I used to hate  the new World of Darkness system, with its strange similar-yet-different feel to the old Storyteller system that I loved.  I used to despise how it felt more like it had influences from d20 and tried to make things seem so basic.  But now, I find it hard to jump back to the old version of the rules.  After some time of getting used to the new system, I have realized what the creators knew and wanted me to learn; the new system is so streamlined you can not only easily mix their products into the game but was simple enough new players can grasp the idea with a single session!   If you take into account the fact that time will be needed to start to actually feel how the change is a good thing, you will at least be making a far better judgement call in the end.

Admit it!  You also at first thought Robot Unicorn Attack was stupid,
until you played it and ended up LOVING it!

And lastly, one must always remember that change will only truly reflect what it offers if you give it an honest chance.    Diets tend to suffer from this the most.  When a change is experienced, many far too quickly declare it a failure because they never really gave it an proper chance.  Once I told myself I would never get into driving.  While young, I actually already learned to drive my mother's car.  But far too quickly, I dismissed the freedom driving brought because I knew once I could drive I would eternally be the person my parents order around to buy stuff.  So I ditched the skill and proclaimed, "I don't like driving.  I prefer the freedom of walking around."  While it was partly true, the joys of walking and commuting were not joys that I would deny myself once I started driving.  They were just joys I used as an excuse to stop.   I, too quickly, shot down the chance for driving to be a true experience.  But now, with a few more years of being behind the wheel under my belt, I am extremely grateful a good friend of mine helped me find the courage to get back behind the wheel.  

So why is this a blame it on the rain,bro article?  As I was thinking of what to blog about today, I found myself thinking about a number of things.  Among them was how a friend of mine who seemed to believe she was unlucky in love.  All the guys she had met were sweet and sincere, but after some weeks of sex and dating, would drop her to find the next warm body.  I suggested to her that maybe what she needed to do was to simply spend the nights out enjoying time with her friends rather than hunting down a boyfriend.   "Try to find time to just enjoy being you.  Stop trying to always be the person the other one wants.  And stop thinking you can't be happy as yourself."  She never tried.  She thought the idea was too weird.  She felt the idea meant she was "giving up" (although what she was giving up I never understood) and as far as I know, she is still diving into clubs hoping to find her Mr. Right in the very place where Mr. OneNightStand simply hangs out.     There is also the other friend who used to think the bar I love was a dump.  The friend was a regular of this bigger bar; a place that equated expensive entrance fees and even more expensive drinks as a symbol of class.  While the bar I loved was a single-storey venue with a cozy floor area and affordable prices, his was a veritable palace of a dance club with numerous floors, peek-a-boo friendly restrooms and enough disco-lights to blind a star.   A few years back, I invited the said friend to a birthday party to check out the place, enjoy the company and have some drinks.   Nowadays, I find myself bumping into him on some nights, there with a host of his friends, enjoying the place.  I wonder sometimes if I should ask.  But then again, doing that might just raise his defenses about it.

Yeah... don't expect love in a place where sex is the main point.

But yes, change can be good.

My coming out was a huge change.  I had a host of things to be afraid of, and frankly even until now there are some things related to my coming out that make me worry.  But overall, the change has been for the best:  I don't have to lie to my parents anymore.  I don't have to pretend my partner is just my friend.  I don't have to act like gay bashing is something I am okay with when family members might happen to do it.  I don't have to make excuses on why I'd spend "certain" days or nights with my partner anymore.  They know I am with the guy I love and they know that on some days of the month, he becomes my priority over everyone else.    And even better, I know now that I can honestly share with them why he makes me happy.  And how I make him happy too.    Our relationship, save for the fact it is homosexual rather than heterosexual, is pretty much seen the same way as any other:  our business.  They are HUGE changes.  Especially for someone who spent the better part of his life making excuses whenever his bisexual heart fell for a person who had a cock.

Me and my partner.
No, we aren't just "best friends."

Change can be very good.  And while it will always be scary, change should always be given some level of consideration before being thrown out of the options immediately.

So I guess, I guess I just need to remind myself of that and do what I can to bring it to a more positive direction.  Tom Strong, here's hoping to see you in print again someday soon.  Wildstorm or not, I believe you will find more readers willing to shell out money to support you.

Let us meditate on the immortal words of Charlie Chaplin:

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles."

(although admittedly, I have no idea when he said this.  Doesn't he usually perform absolutely silent?)

How do you describe a feeling?

I will always love Kylie Minogue.

Simply Wow.

While I may have a strangely broad range of music in my collection, my appreciation of her music used to be something that I had to keep private.  Partly because I wasn't quite out of the closet back then and partly because I didn't want to "share her", I used to catch Kylie's music videos on tv or hear her songs and without any outward signs, enjoy the experience of hearing her sing to me once again.  Being three years younger than my brother in the height of the 80s, I was pretty much expected to like the things he did.  When he was deeply into The Cure, I had to get into them as well.  When Depeche Mode and A-ha sang their songs, I bobbed my head and swayed my fists to the beat.  So when it came to Kylie songs and a few other Madonna tunes, I treated them as secret songs that I alone relished.

I did that for a few years.

There was I time I wanted to marry you, Tori.

There weren't much friends in my younger years who liked Kylie songs.  As strange as it may sound, even by the time college came around, I knew far more people who loved Tori Amos than I did people who loved Kylie.   Having a group that shared my love for Tori, I did in many ways gravitate more towards her music and soon ended up with both a ticket to watch her concert in Los Angeles, a video copy of her concert and unplugged performance, an $80 dollar Venus Envy pendant, and a number of her music cds.     As to Kylie, I only had my memories of her duet with Kermit the Frog and a silent joy in my heart every time I'd hear the Locomotion play.

Thankfully, all that has changed now.

Kylie is back in my life and even better, my partner shares a strong passion for her songs as well.  While other artist like Pink, Ke$sha, Rhianna or Robyn might come up with their own dance-throbbing tunes, I always found myself struggling to completely enjoy their songs particularly because of the kind of message they espouse.

I sense a conflict between message and image.

Take for instance, Pink's "Raise your Glass":

So raise your glass if you are wrong

in all the right ways, all my underdogs

we will never be anything but loud

and nitty gritty dirty little freaks

won't you come on and raise your glass!

I don't grasp the pride and joy in being different in her lyrics.  I know the message is there, but I don't feel it the way I do in other songs.  Ultimately, as fun as the song is to dance to, I struggle to embrace what Pink wants to celebrate in a song here.  Her music video, thankfully, pushes more the message that I love to hear from her.  I guess I just wish I could feel it from her song.  Different strokes I guess.

I go through the same trouble with Rihanna songs and the rest of them.  While I do understand the emotional strength of a song that channels out anger or discontent (again, I am a huge Tori Amos fan too) I don't get the need to always embrace such negativity and try to make it sound cool.  Especially when the said artist presents herself as Rock rather than Goth and so on and so forth.  It is all a performance.  It is all just an image.  It isn't about singing from the heart.  It feels like its all about singing for the paycheck.

While I admire Gaga for being creative, she has been sorely lacking in being much more original.

Kylie, on the other hand, sings with the campiness of a fag hag who loves her gay audience.  She sings of beauty and being wonderful in all ways one can be.  She sings of heart break but quickly reminds you that you deserve better and you shouldn't just be some drama queen.  She sings of love and celebrates its power as real and beautiful.

Rocky, DJ Symon and Me
(Clearly Rocky and I have had a fair amount of beer by then)

It is such a huge plus for me that my favorite haunt, O bar, has a DJ who understands my love for Kylie and how much Rocky and I love to dance to her songs.  Already there was a time the DJ mixed a series of Kylie songs just for us and made sure to let us know it was meant for us when he played it.   (Thanks again DJ Symon!)   It is interesting how Katy Perry seemingly is on the road of moving in the same direction as Kylie.  I can only wonder though when there would be more people who would learn to look past fluff and hype and appreciate good songs the way they are meant to be.

Already counting the days til Gaga copies even THIS look.

But then again, until that day happens, I don't care if only Rocky and I cheer out loud the moment a Kylie song is played in O bar.   After all, sometimes you do want to keep special things all to yourself and your partner.  Heck Kylie already has a song that captures this!

And it goes like this:

DJ's spinning up my favorite song,

Hurry up and get a grove on.

Light fantastic and it won't be long,

Don't let the moment slip away.

'Cause you and I could find a pleasure, no one else has ever known.

Feels like it is now or never, don't want to be alone

How does it feel in my arms?

How does it feel in my arms?

Do you want it?

Do you need it?

Can you feel it?

Tell me.

How does it feel in my arms?

Keep singing, dancing and spreading the love, Kylie!
You make the world a far better, lovelier, musical place!




For the curious, here is my list of my favorite Kylie songs:

• Locomotion
• Give just a little more time
• Especially for you
• Cant get you out of my head
• Wow
• More more more
• Come into my world
• Fever
• In my Arms
• All the lovers
• Get out of my way