Worth a read

http://www.upworthy.com/the-truth-about-gay-people

Oh yes.
And mind you, I don't really like Hilary.

Forward!

A step forward.

Here's hoping someday, in the Philippines, we follow in their footsteps.

May I live to see the day that I have the right to marry the man I love in the country I was born in.

Imagine indeed..

Manny.. Pacyooooo!

Manny Pacquiao released statements that clearly reveal how much of a jerk he really is.  Rather than repeat them, I'll leave it for you guys to google.  But guess what Manny, we can quote the Bible too.

And that's the LEAST of what YOU have done that the Bible says is wrong.

I never approved of your boxing.  Now I don't approve of you at all.
Especially when you started statements relating to killing gay people.

I call upon all my friends.
https://www.change.org/petitions/nike-end-sponsorship-of-homophobic-boxer-manny-pacquiao?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=share_button_modal
Join the petition.

We have to speak up.

Bad Dream: The Fight for our Rights continues

by Slavin

Woke up feeling pretty frustrated and slightly angry today from a dream which touched on a number of personal topics.  The dream started with me and my sister Tracy standing at some street corner with a pair of wigs on.  I wore this weird brown wavy number while she wore this blonde tall wig.  And you know how in dreams, you "know" why something is happening?  Well, in this case it was me "knowing" it was because she had no time to fix her hair before we stepped out, so good thing I "had" wigs in my bag.   WTF right?   Anyway, we walked down a few blocks and eventually stopped at a bus station which had a mirror-like wall.  There, we saw how bad the wigs looked and noticed they had heated the air between them and our heads that our heads now looked nicely stylishly done.   So we removed the wigs and waited for the bus.

While waiting, I noticed down the road my ex-girlfriend walking with her family.  I then realized that in the dream, we were in Canada.  I felt worried that if they saw me, I would ruin their Christmas.  (This is the point in the dream I "knew" it was set during the Christmas season).  So I ducked behind the waiting seats so they wouldn't see me.  My sister looked at me oddly and told me the bus was here.  So I stood up and hurriedly boarded the bus, but in my eagerness to get on board, two things happened:  1) She noticed me and turned away, with a frown on her face.  2) my clothes somehow got all left behind.  So I boarded the bus with nothing but a towel around my waist.

In the bus, my family was there.  My mom and dad were on the rearmost seat.  My brother, Ate Ives, and the two kids Sophie and Jam were there on the next row.  And finally it was me and Tracy.  Behind us, a lot of other people.   This was the part that got painfully frustrating for me.  In the dream, my mom suddenly starts talking about how, "It is annoying how you have these people who think they have the right to be married."

I realized suddenly she was referring to marriage being given as a right to gay people like me.  Suddenly I realized that was why we were in Canada.  In the dream, it was to attend the wedding of someone, and there happened to also be a wedding between two guys in the horizon.

I spoke up, "I think it is more about how sad that there are people who think others should not have that right."

My mom, in the dream, shook her head and said, "Ay, I will say no more about it."

But this time I pressed on.

"You know how back in the older times, women were not permitted to work, or show their clothing, or how pork and shellfish was not permitted, or how playing with pig skin was even seen as wrong.  These are all in the Bible too.  But now, these are either considered normal or acceptable.  Why?  Because they REVISED it."

My mom chided in, "Exactly they revised it... but no one has revised that gay people should.."

I interrupted, "But that's my point.  The only reason people view that we can't get married is because no one has revised it yet.  All are just falling back on the "it is traditionally seen as wrong" as an excuse.  There is no actual logical reasoning behind it.  And that's what is sad."

My mom, in the dream, looked away in contained disappointment.

I still pressed on.  "Women made a stand.  They expected equality, and perhaps it hasn't been fully won, but it has been enough that women do have the freedom to get jobs now.  Women do have a recognizable role now outside just being the housewife.  Women gained a voice.    Now, it is our turn to gain a voice.   Our turn to expect revisions to what has simply been excused away as tradition.  It is our turn to be given the right to be treated as equally as EVERYONE ELSE."

They remained silent.  I felt so angry I wanted to scream.
But then I woke up...

... to a phone call from my Mom reminding me I had to go to Paranaque today for my Dad's birthday mass and dinner.   Yep.  Can you imagine the struggle I felt with my emotions being raw that moment and the phone in my hand just a few key presses away from contacting her.  Gah.  I didn't answer.  I just cooled my head off, then texted back, "I'll be there."

That was in some ways cathartic.  But in some ways, a reminder of the truth of where I do stand in life so far.  I am very happy to be sharing my life with rOckY.  I am very lucky to be with a family that still accepts and loves me.  I am very fortunate to have lived my life as I have, with every single experience adding up to what made me who I am.  But I shouldn't forget that there are still some emotional issues that are, out of courtesy or whatever other reasons, do stay mum about their own emotional conflicts with me.  And that's just the way it really is.  People deal with things in their own way.

And maybe, just maybe, we all learn to open our eyes a little bit more.
See the bigger picture.  And embrace what truly is best for everyone.

Happy Holidays! Love Makes a FAMILY!

Happy Holidays to you all.
May our Christmas Wish someday come true.

It's Okay To Be Neither

This was a very enlightening read.  I do hope more parents, teachers... heck, I hope more PEOPLE read this and realize that many of the discrimination problems can go away if we start teaching our kids while they are young that gender discrimination is not necessary.

It's Okay To Be Neither
http://togetherforjacksoncountykids.tumblr.com/post/14314184651/one-teachers-approach-to-preventing-gender-bullying-in


Thank you Melissa Bollow Tempel.

We joined this year's Pride March in the Philippines!

rOckY and I, with a LOT of our good friends, took part in this year's Pride March.  This was my second time to be part of the march since last year, I was with my parents and family on a trip to Singapore.  My best friend Tom and his partner Fritz was there, as was my dear diva Grace and her partner Pao, as was Geoff and Allan.  (Thank you Allan for these wonderful pictures!)  rOckY has yet to release our own set of pictures but once those are up, know I'll be sharing the link to them too.

There were many other friends who joined us that day who aren't in these pictures.  Nono, Lanchie, Juna, Markee, Ian, Bern, Pao and so many other friends also made their presence known and their voices heard as we marched down the road with pink balloons, rainbows and love.  Of course, there were protesters against the march there too which was expected.   A little bird told us before that those people are "funded" to protest by certain groups.  Sad really, that people really think hate is the way to live one's life.   There also were companies that showed their support (but part of me does wonder how much is support and how much is selling the idea that you can work for them.  Oh well, businesses will always have the bottom line after all.)   You can find more pictures of the beautiful event here as well.

Check out this video that rOckY took of the march.  Clearly, we were having a LOT of fun.

As I mentioned in my facebook, the Pride March doesn't require attendees to be gay.  All you have to be is someone who wants to voice out that LGBT deserve equal rights.  

Among my many posts include:

Will I see you today, marching alongside me? Will I see you today, being brave enough to make a statement that being who I am is okay?  Or will I have to wait for the day I become a victim of some hate crime before you realize I need your support to have my rights recognized?
Will you March with me this year?

And

Yes, embracing DIVERSITY does mean embracing even the presence of things you don't necessarily like. But that's the beauty of Diversity! There's always something for everyone.

And

Join this year's Pride March. Help show more people that there is nothing to be ashamed about being gay, knowing someone who is gay, being friends with someone who is gay, or simply believing that we all deserve to have the equal right to love who we love.
Help us make a statement. Help us be heard. Hindi lang ang mahirap ang nangangailan ng supporta ninyo. (Not only the poor need your support.)

I do hope next year we get to see even more friends take part in this important event.  I pray that more friends find the courage to join us as we represent the people in the Philippines who believe in equal rights, who believe in the freedom to be happy, and who believe that love is real.

Happy Pride!
See you next year!

Thank you.

Some things to be thankful for:

And for people who once believed religion was enough, then learned to see things with open eyes.

Do you?

Gay Marriage WAS legal in the past.

As shared by Wicked Gay Blog.
http://i.imgur.com/OQEro.png

Stop trying to change us, please.

Hear it from a guy who was made to go through "Conversion Therapy."  We are who we are.  Please open your eyes.  Love.  Stop the hate.  Just love.

Equal Rights for ALL!

Is that concept really so hard to grasp?

I don't get Miss Universe

I know, I know, I shouldn't rant about something I don't like when so many others do and it does so much more good out there in the world.  But honestly, I don't get all the hooplah over the Miss Universe pageant.  Currently on both facebook and in many social networks, the running joke is that a "official holiday for gay people" is about to happen or that "all gay employees can request for their sick leave/vacation leave today" with the joke being: Every gay guy loves to watch Miss Universe.

Yeah.  Everyone knows what a Miss Universe contestant looks like.

The thing is, I don't.
And I am definitely not straight.
Is it because I am more bisexual than just gay?  Maybe it has to do with me seeing beauty pageants as events that celebrate being a specific kind of beauty, and represents glamour and grace as a specific way of acting, and the whole event and all feels very unnecessary and frivolous.  And admittedly, it has to do with my dislike of how all this has lead to things like this event which seems to glamorize and support doing this to one's children.

Seriously.  And some of these poor children take botox now.  Ugh.

Beauty will always, for me, be something everyone has.
Some may have beauty that coincides with what more people define as beautiful than others, while others might have a beauty that takes a more open-minded or less brain-washed mind.    I have strong feelings against any group, production or form of media that highlights and celebrates only ONE kind of beauty.  Not everyone has to be thin.  Not every woman needs that hour-glass figure to be beautiful.  But it seems in as much as these pageants harp about "Inner beauty" they do nothing but demonstrate more and more the need to confirm to their definition of beauty.

Maybe if Miss Universe had a wider range of body types.
And celebrations of beauty. 

Take away their heads and you'll see the same body type and the same beauty stylings on each and every single contestant.  Hairstyles, racial traits and talents may differ, but everyone seems to try to be the same kind of woman, waving in the same exact way, smiling with the same "perfect" smile.

All The Same.

I embrace individuality.  I embrace identity.  I embrace being brave enough to tell yourself "you are beautiful" and being willing to stand out and be different.   Now I am sure there are those out there who will greatly disagree with me.  Many would definitely say I missed the "point" of Miss Universe.   Some would definitely harp about how Miss Universe is about reaching for one's dreams and knowing we can all "be better".   But I will always say, "Being better" is not the same as "Being healthier".   Wanting to work out because you care about your health and want to look more fit is fine and commendable.  But doing it because you believe you are ugly unless you look like some beauty pageant contestant?  Unacceptable.

Why indeed?

Ultimately, this is just me ranting about it.  I don't get all the buzz and fuss over it.  I don't get the excitement it supposedly contains.  I guess for me, Miss Universe is like golf.  Or the UAAP games.  Ultimately, just not my thing.

Any this kind of thinking starts to become the norm.
Anyone who wants to celebrate being distinct rather than the same, is automatically labelled a negative thing.

So to all you fans who, for some reason are reading my blog, enjoy Miss Universe - Enjoy the show and I hope your "bet" wins.  But please, don't try to convince me of the "virtues" of the show.  You'd probably have a bigger chance turning me into a homophobic straight guy.

So True.

Thank you to Jacob Anorens

www.speakingofwhichcomic.tumblr.com

Actually...

Gay-Straight Etiquette

My partner, Rocky, shared me this article today and I found it to be very enlightening.  I thought it may be best to share this link again here on my blog for any readers who may have found themselves tongue-tied in similar situations before.  The article is "" by Andrea Sachs, who interviews Steve Petrow who came up with "Complete Gay and Lesbain Manners" site.

http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/13/qa-etiquette-for-gays-lesbians-and-their-straight-friends/

Some of my favorite parts:

If it's O.K. for two straight people to hold hands in this place, there's no reason why that shouldn't be O.K. for us, as long as it's safe and you know that part of this is new to many folks. Some of that just takes time to become part of the landscape.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/13/qa-etiquette-for-gays-lesbians-and-their-straight-friends/#ixzz1S3jIuVpt

And

Not everybody who's gay wants to get married. But just about everybody who's gay wants the right to get married. And there is a difference there.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/13/qa-etiquette-for-gays-lesbians-and-their-straight-friends/#ixzz1S3jOBoTQ

Celebrate the Freedom to Love!

Here's to celebrating IDAHO (International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia) this May 17.
http://www.dayagainsthomophobia.org

A friend shared to me this link of how Singapore is taking part in it.  I only wish there was also a more visible way Pinoys can take part in the celebration.

Even Lady Gaga herself is participating.  Here's her quote on the event:

"That Humanity could find Togertherness. We are all different and it is that which makes us the same.  Be yourself, love who you are and be proud. You were born this way, baby."

I'm hoping to take part in the As I Am campaign.  Probably gonna tell Rocky about it once he wakes up.  While I may have had a long part of my life denying who I was and hating who I am, I am proud to have finally come to a point where I can celebrate being me and have no fears of whether or not the world will accept me.

I am me.

My name is Tobie Abad, and I am a bisexual, and I am not afraid to love who I love.

I only hope you can say you have the freedom to love too.

Geekwood: Ben and Hudson

While a larger majority of all my geekwood posts will focus on fictional hotties from videogames, comics, role-playing games and the like, this geekwood entry is being devoted to two people who deserve to be recognized for their actions.

Ben Cohen, a world-class English rugby athlete and absolute hottie, and Hudson Taylor, an American college wrestler, are both straight, drop-dead gorgeous and have dedicated their lives to standing up against homophobia and bullying.  

Hudson Taylor and Ben Cohen.  Shining examples of hot straight guys you can count on.

Sad but true, there are many straight AND gay people who can be open-minded towards having homosexual friends, but still remain afraid to speak up for gay rights and to stop gay bashing.    I know a few friends of mine who, while happy to be gay, are unwilling to take part in Pride marches and remain silent when homophobic jokes are bandied around.

And yes, Ben understands "smooth" is not necessary to be attractive as fuck!

So yes, thank you Ben and Hudson for being secure in your masculinity and being willing to speak up fro the many others who are too afraid (or will cite "logical" reasons) and remain silent.

Hudson on the other hand isn't afraid to trim the pit (although I prefer it hairy).

I remember some questioning the point of Pride marches and the like.  How they are all just "political" and not celebrations of diversity.  They seem to forget that yes, it IS political.  And it will also remain political until the day discrimination towards homosexuality comes to an end.  

No H8!

I don't personally also understand all this fear straight men have of being seen as attractive by other men.   Maybe I'm just too open-minded in the sense that I see anyone appreciating my attractiveness as a compliment, whether or not I find the other person appealing.  Beauty is beauty and to be seen as attractive, whether it be by a straight or homosexual man or woman, for me, is always a good thing.

But I guess some people just have issues.

*swoons*  for so many reasons.

So yes, thank you Ben and Hudson.  

You are shining examples of how one does not need to be gay to understand and speak out on how homophobia and bullying, especially in sports (which for some reason is deemed only for "straight" people by some).  Thank you!

Read more about them here.