Sunday, October 31, 2010

We were the Gayest Superhero duo!

My partner and I decided to dress up this year as the gayest super couple in comics:  Midnight and Apollo of The Authority.  I wrote up much more about it in my other blog.  I definitely had a great time this year and I am happy to know my partner really enjoyed getting dressed for this holiday too.

After rocking with the geeks at Hard Rock cafe, we dressed down and headed to Malate for the Blackparty event.  Thankfully, we were able to avoid most of the lines thanks to our loyalties to O Bar.  

It was a fun Halloween.  Nothing over the top but definitely not a waste of the weekend either.   We posted the rest of the pictures at facebook.  Makes one wonder what we will come up with in the coming years.  

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

[so easy] Home-made Ice Cream

It doesn't help that he's pretty hawt for a cook.
Bonus points for posing with a cute piglet!
As some of you readers know, I've only recently learned to cook.  After years of watching Jamie Oliver's The Naked Chef and Nigella Lawson's Nigella Bites and other similar shows, I've always wanted to one day find myself being able to cook for the man I love.  Being a geek, I had my fears that cooking would be one of those skills totally out of my reach.  I mean, hey, I have no dreams of becoming some kind of a kitchen deity, but I do want to be able to surprise my partner with a home-cooked meal one day.  Who knew that by this time, this year, I'd be not only able to cook meals for my partner, Rocky, but also create things which I myself never thought possible.

And one such "impossible" thing that I would want to share with you readers is this:  
Home-made Super Easy to do Ice Cream.

This is our home-made ice cream topped with some Dark Chocolate topping!

Seriously, that's it.  Bananas are all you need.

Anything else you might want to add to it after such as peanut butter, chocolate syrup, milo, etc.



Step 1:  Allow the bananas to get nicely ripe.  In fact, a little bit more over-ripe is better.  Once the bananas as starting to feel softer than firm... the brown ones are BEST!
Step 2: Cut up the bananas into slices.
Step 3: Freeze.
Step 4: Assuming it has been a few hours, or even a few days, and the craving for ice cream finally hits, take frozen banana slices from freezer, and toss into blender.
Step 5: Blend nicely, but not too much.  Too much and you may end up with something more like puree.  Just blend it enough to get the nice creamy texture of ice cream.  You'd be surprised how the non-blended bananas mix nicely with the blended parts to form tremendously delicious ice cream!
This is an example of blending TOO MUCH.
More a Banana Smoothie than Ice Cream.
So to make up for it, just tossed in a Flat Top and some chocolate sauce.
Step 6: Eat! Or add the stuff you want, then eat!

So yes, it is THAT simple.

Rocky found this recipe online and while we were very skeptical at first, it seemed easier than the other ice cream recipes that we found (some required looking for liquid hydrogen.  Another used ice cube trays to create the ice cream.  And all needed so many ingredients... milk, creams, etc.)  This recipe was surprisingly simple yet very delicious and fulfilling to eat!

I highly recommend you try it to surprise the man you love!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Reading Between the Updates

The foundations of a relationship can sometimes be gleaned by simply keeping a keen eye on what either of the two seem to celebrate the most.    While a great connection and a rich sex life are both vital to a relationship, one can discern quite easily by glancing at the details what one or the other celebrates the most in their relationship.  It is in such introspections that social media such as Mark Zuckerberg's blue logo monstrosity,, or one's blog can be much more revealing than one expects.

Who needs to worry about losing one's privacy to Facebook
when we're all too willing to already over-share information?
I know of a pair who when I first heard of them was talked about as the perfect sweetest couple EVER.   In many ways, their relationship was deemed to be a prime example of a perfect gay long term relationship.  But then in the scant number of months leading to their break-up, it was quiet evident that all their posts were about themselves and their own INDIVIDUAL celebrations of life.    Updates tended to focus on how one, rather than both, or even at least one talking about the other, enjoyed their day.

"Hit the gym.  Feeling good.  I love today."

"Decided to catch the latest Bond movie.  Should be fun."
"Got a haircut.  Love my new look."

Me.  I.  All about the person and not about them.  All about enjoying life alone.
I couldn't help but wonder when I read them, "Where they not ever together?!?!?"  At one point, the two ate at some Italian restaurant.  Their updates then followed.

"Had delicious pasta today.  Love the food here!"
Came one update.  Okay, so he was enjoying his night... even if it sounded alone.

The other, around the same time, sent this update:

"Bored.   Anxious to go home.  Good food at least."

And again, barely any hint of being together. 

Maybe it was a case of being in the closet.  Or maybe it was a hint that the other wasn't too keen on where they decided to go that night.  But one would have thought the updates would have at least hinted that they were hanging out at the same place.

When things fell south, many were devastated.  To many, it was unthinkable.  How could they have ended such a "perfect" relationship?  I didn't even bat an eyelash.  I could see it a mile away.  They were too happy with their own lives they did not really enjoy sharing it with one another.
Yep, the POKE icon is actually a hidden taunt at what you are.
Another pair I heard of is a stranger mix.  While I don't know them personally, the mutual friends who we share often tell me of what they read in their newsfeed.  Supposedly, the updates that flow have a clear theme.  Travel.  Expensive things.  Costly food.  Outlandish indulgences.  While living a money-landen life is not bad in any way, celebrating them alone does make one wonder:  what is the other doing other than financing all this?    Even worse, all these celebratory posts are to cheer about "they are mine" rather than "we now own this!"  In some ways, I've tried to be more open-minded about such relationships, but deep down I fear the day when the shit hits the fan.  Somehow I already can tell if things go south, "How do we survive this" will come only after the question, "What do I keep?"

Then, there is this pair I know of which loves to play the switcharoo game in their social network updates.  The two are greatly in love and passionately care for one another, but due to personal reasons are openly exploring having sex with other partners.   My feelings on open relationships aside, I am happy that they do at least keep an honest and open flow of communication between them - honestly sharing if they found someone interesting and discussing whether or not it is alright to have fun with the said person or not.  None of the "I'll claim to be single/your ex" manipulations in play.  So their social network updates are tailored to hit the said "market".  I applaud them for their courage in choosing to wade in what I feel is potentially dangerous waters.  The risk of tearing apart trust can be tremendously detrimental to a long term partnership.

I do however pity the poor soul who becomes the victim of their united front.    I can only hope that the poor sod at least is given a clear understanding of what the situation is, and isn't lead on to think he's in a relationship with a single man.
To quote, Sharleen Spiteri and Johnny McElhone,
"You can say what you want, but it won't change my mind, I'll feel the same about you."
And of course there are those who keep their private lives to themselves.  A friend of mine is married and between the two of them, only she had a facebook account.  Her updates are often hilarious, giving an insider glimpse of the industry she works in and she rarely posts actual updates about her husband.   However, on the times that she does, one can easily see the honesty and affection they contain.  No pomp and overly dressed statements that try to make the relationship sound more fantastic than it really is.  Just an honest statement of how well things are between them.
There will always be them liars out there.
Or worse.
Ultimately, people who embrace the idea of having a virtual presence in a social network tend to seek an outlet to share openly things they appreciate and celebrate.  And what these things are can give another a good glimpse of what to expect of the person who wrote those updates.   While it ain't a precise science, I think it wouldn't take a special degree in anything to discern what kind of a guy one would have to be to post affectionate messages aimed anonymously to someone as status messages, when the guy's said partner is clearly someone who supposedly doesn't go online.  Or what to expect from a date with someone whose profile picture still shows him wearing the favorite shirt his ex gave him.   

Sometimes, deny what one wilt, the updates reveal the details indeed.
So if you have a facebook account, well, maybe you ought to take a step back and look at how your updates normally sound.  That may give you a better idea on why some people know you better than you think!

Friday, October 15, 2010

A Quickie Update, and a teaser on Quickie Fiction

It has been a while since I wrote something other than a piece of quickie fiction or a new geekwood entry.  And mind you it is not because of a lack of things to say.  God knows I have a lot of thoughts on being gay, being a geek, being a gay geek, being a guy, being a guy who likes guys, being a gay guy who still likes girls, being bisexual, being a gamer, being a gay gamer, being a geeky famer, being a gay geeky gamer...  and more.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

From blog action day topics, to theorgy initiated discussions (or at least discussion, since they haven't followed up on more), I can also write about my bar escapes, food recipes, drinking anecdotes, dating, sex, raising a family, caring for a home, style, reading, shows, movies, books, comics, toys, theater...

It is just that lately things have been a tad more taxing for me.  My partner was having some rough times when his wallet was picked by some bastard on the public railway.  I, on the other hand, had to deal with some doofus slamming their car into mine while on the highway.  Toss in the additional complications of ticket refunds, vacation planning, friends who had to move, parties that we weren't invited to, parties that we were, reunions, out of town trainings and our usual weekly gaming night and yep, time does get kinda scarce real quick.  But ultimately, one learns to balance things out, resist the temptation for quick fixes and unimportant acts of stupidity and learns to hold on to what matters more.

I guess for now though, allow me to leave this:

Quickie Fiction
My quickie fiction pieces are short stories that are born from events that have transpired, people I have met, places I have been to and anecdotes that I have either witnessed or was part of.  While I do mix and match things enough to maintain a fictional narrative, all the elements are born from something real.

I don't really know yet if I would be ready to outright narrate actual notes of my life in the way I do in my fiction (especially when it comes to matters of sex and making love) since I do hold in high regard my relationship with my partner and would not want to come of as attempting to flirt or titillate others using my blog.  While I am sure there are jerks who hold a relationship with one hand, then use their other hand to cyber sex whoever easy prey comes their way, I am frankly not one of those kinds of people.  And I even detest further those who use the net as an avenue to declare passion and love for someone else while claiming to be in a happy stable money-raining relationship.  Ugh.

But yes, read it carefully and you might find some gems hidden in the open in my quickie fiction.  Or hell, you might even find some touches that reflect something you know yourself!

While I might not score the hundreds of followers or visitors other gay blogs have, thanks to their soft-core porn posts and their frequent updates on celebrity skin, I am happy enough knowing there are those who appreciate much more intelligent... if not morally-aware blogging that is not afraid to be honest about the fact we are still all sexual beings.

Thanks for being a reader!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Count me OUT!

I am proud to be Out.

Never be afraid to be yourself.

Once again, I thank my partner Rocky Sunico for giving me the support and courage to finally take this step forward.  Being able to truly celebrate and be myself is a joy every one deserves to have.
Go 8-bit Happiness!!!
Got a load of stuff in mind for this blog.  Frankly, I'm happy as a katamari to see how there actually has been an increase in the number of readers I have in this blog.  Google Analytics reveals very interesting search key words that have lead people here, as well as which other sites have been instrumental in helping me gain more hits.  

Among the things I have in mind:
1) A short post I guess on what lead to me creating this blog in the first place
2) More Geekwood posts.  I have to make sure I widen the scope.  Comics should include manga, European comics, and possibly even local komiks.  Maybe more entries from video games, roleplaying games, and even books.
3) More Quickie Fiction.   As well as a post on the origins of Quickie Fiction stories.  Here's a little known fact:  They are not purely fictional stories.
4) Maybe even start a gay-centric online comic.  I've been wanting to do one years back, even before Diliman first found its home online.  But as always, performance anxiety gets to me.  But as Carlo Vergara of ZsaZsa Zaturnnah always tells me, "Don't be afraid.  Just do it.  Gawa lang ng gawa! (Just keep making comics!)"

But yeah, coming out was definitely a highlight in my life this year.  From actually doing it, to writing about it as part of an online event, I can only hope my own experience will help inspire someone else to do the same.  There truly is a joy in being able to proudly be who you are and stop living in fear.

Again, Happy Coming Out day everyone!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

On the Dance Floor

I already knew what you were after the moment you said my name.

When you've been around as long as I have, you learn to notice the cues and hints that a gay guy actually drops without thinking.  Sure, some guys know a few tricks to seem discreet.  These are no longer the years of colored bandannas hanging from the rear jean's pocket to declare one's preferences.  These aren't those eager nights when the mere fact of where your keys are hanging from determines whose house you are sleeping at anymore.  With Skype making video conferencing far too easy, and graphic-friendly social networks like Planet Romeo, the thrust, parry and riposte of cruising is no longer the adventure it used to be.

"I haven't seen you for so long!"

You offer your arms out for a hug and I decide to give in.  You always did give a good tight squeeze when you hugged me.  It was never enough to just wrap your meaty arms around my frame.  You always had to add an extra tighter clench before letting me go.  There was I time I misunderstood it to mean you liked me more than you did your usual tricks.  Now I know it was simply something you did out of reflex.  Something that happened without a second thought.

I flash a smile but leave you the duties of carrying the one-sided conversation going.  Had I been more forward, I would have told you I was enjoying the DJ's new mix of the Killer's "Somebody Told Me" with Kylie Minogue's "Get Outta My Way", but your insistence to try and hold an actual conversation while on the dance floor deserved at least a moment of recognition.  Again, I can see things so clearly.  Had you really been interested in me beyond how satisfying a fuck I can deliver, you would have noticed I wanted to dance more than talk.

"You're looking good.  You lost a lot of weight!"

I cock an eyebrow.  You reach a hand towards me and cups it around my chest, close to my left elbow.  You squeeze and I feel your fingers each land in the spaces between my ribs.    I realize you are not going to stop until I say something or rudely simply turn away and dance.  I  decide to be nice.

"Lost that much weight?" I ask, giving you an opening to compliment me.

"It looks good on you!"

Your reply is too eager.  And far too generic.  No mention of how I had allowed myself to gain a bit more paunch ever since I learned to cook.  No mention of how my arms were less defined compared to late last year when I was doing my own rendition of a gym-bunny that had brains.  Clearly your brain was not in complimenting me.  I'm not surprised.

"Nice to see you too," I finally answer and you quickly pull me closer as you wrap an arm around my shoulder.  I ignore the fact that you lean close enough to take a quick sniff of my neck.  You always loved to do that when you had the opportunity to do so.  I still hear Kylie singing in the background.  I decide to shift my weight around, moving to the music.  You match my pace and there we are swaying on the dance floor.

"Where's your partner?" you asks and I am impressed that you know I'm no longer single.  I never bothered to keep you informed about my life.  You were, after all, the one who just vanished on me after I turned you down that fated night.  You was randy enough to give me what you bragged was to be "a blowjob to remember" in the bathroom.  I  shook my dick of the last drops of urine, tucked it back into my underwear, zipped my pants closed and said, "No thanks."  You grabbed my waist as I stepped past you to stop me from leaving the bathroom.  You asked a second time.  I shook my head, not granting you a verbal reply.  I stepped out.

I never saw you again until this very moment.
It has been a full eight months.

"He's great," I answer, then decide to add just to preempt any probing questions on how willing I would be to cheat on him, "We're great actually.  The best it has ever been."

"Oh," the pout follows.  Most men fall for it.  You know how cute you can look when you pout.  You maintain and trim that soul patch on your chin specifically because it makes your pout look even cuter.  Most don't realize how easy it is to counter this move.   But I do.

I reach up and cup your chin between my forefinger and thumb. I shake your face side to side and smile.  "Stop that," I feign weakness, as if I wanted to fool around but can't, but then dive in for the killing blow, "And sadly, the answer is still no."


"You heard me," I grin.  You blinks a few times, shocked that I read through you so easily.  Or maybe that was just the strobe lights making you look as if you weren't moving.  Probably was the strobe.

"Oh," you now frown.  As I anticipated.  I pat you on the back.

"Don't worry," I tell you, "If it is meant to be, you will find him."

You shrug.  I throw my attentions to the DJ and realize Kylie isn't done with her song.  The chorus was winding up one more time.  I sway to the song and you follow my lead.  Sure, you can't convince me to give you a good fuck.  And I won't be giving in to discover if you really can give me a blowjob that I will forever remember.  Frankly, I don't care.

I'm here to dance.  And only dance.
And if you're smart, maybe you will realize you are lucky enough to be the one I chose to dance with.
Or maybe not.

See you again in eight months?

On the Dance Floor
a quickie fiction by tobie

Monday, October 4, 2010

Geekwood: The Enigma

While it is easy to find certain comic characters such as Wolverine or Batman hot, most sadly overlook other hotties such as Continuity Comic's Megalith on this entry's offering: The Enigma.  Born from the creative genius of Peter Milligan and given visual life by the artistic exemplar Duncan Fegredo, the Enigma is a character of mystery and sensuality unbound.

I still re-read this miniseries at least once a year.
At the risk of spoiling the story which was published back in 1993, the Enigma is a strange man with reality-altering powers whose far from ordinary past set the stage for the events that were to unfold in the miniseries.  A man named Michael Smith quickly learns that his own life is somehow entangled in the mystery of the masked and caped comic character that has somehow come to life.  Wearing a face mask, a ruffled shirt and a cape, the omnipotent yet emotionally detached man known as the Enigma is soon discovered to have been inspired by the remnants of Michael Smith's emotional releases in the ruins of what was once his parent's home.  Learning much of Michael Smith's happiness as a child was drawn from a long discontinued comic book called The Enigma, the Enigma then embraces that persona as his own, empowers total strangers to become his league of villains, all part of an elaborate plan to win against the Enigma's true enemy:  his own mother.
A masked hero who attacks his enemies by tearing out stars from their stomach.  You gotta love that imagery.

The Enigma is a story that explores the importance of self and identity.  Especially the need to be able to embrace ones sexuality in a world where labels and roles become reduced to merely fulfilling one's routine.  The Enigma forces Michael Smith to face with his own inner demons and struggle for self-acceptance, and later reveals that very said acceptance was the thing he needed to face his own demons.

I can never recapture how excited and shocked I felt to realize for the first time how this comic was touching on the "gay" issue.  Back then, the idea that a comic would discuss it seemed unheard of.
The comic was published by the Vertigo line of DC Comics, which for its time was touted as the pioneer creative ground for works that approached comics with a far more adult sensibility.  While European comics and Japanese manga have long treated comics are merely a medium and not a childish format, Vertigo comics was a good step in that direction.  Needless to say, it allowed The Enigma to explore themes and issues other comics would shy from.
There's an Enigma for everyone!
See, even footsies!
The Enigma was far from the typical likeable character.  He used people to further his ends without care, being blunt about what he needed and being direct about why he did things.  His lack of social graces made him far from the ideal one would expect.  His preferred form of dress seemed a tad too fashionably gay.  And while he had a magnificent smile and a hot body to boot, his emotional sensitivity was far from acceptable.

The artist really succeeded in giving him an iconic look.
Or as Ru Paul would say, "Enigma works it!"
However, the Enigma was one who did not shy away from truth.  The Enigma faced with the Truth head on, and challenged us to do the same.  The Enigma openly embraced the need for sensuality and perhaps in unexpected ways even catered to other's sexual fantasies without trying.   The Enigma challenges and inspires and demands one to be true.

This image.
I remember seeing this for the first time and so wishing I was Michael Smith.
For such qualities, the Enigma deserves to be my choice for this entry's Geekwood post.  And yes, while the idea of dating a guy who loves chewing down lizards sounds questionable, realize this is a man who will remind you that you never need to fear falling because he will be there to catch you.  This series hooked me so much that I spent over five years struggling to find all the issues (only to finally receive them as a gift from an ex who sadly has never gotten past hating me) and eventually inspiring me to write my own take on a sequel to the story.  (Much to my chagrin, the sequel was very received and is still online in a number of websites out there.)

Falling indeed.
And his saying it is not just metaphor.
It is real.

"Like a Strange Girl." 

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Hey Rocky, Happy Wheelie Day!

Perhaps there was a time when things were fragile.  Perhaps there was a time when we still had our own uncertainties about the future.  Perhaps there was a moment when we were not quite sure about what we wanted in life.

Those are times long past.
Those are times we've survived.

Pigger, Pig, Me and Rocky
Happy Wheelie Day, Rocky Sunico.
My love.  My life.  

You are the reason everything else in my life had happened the way it did.

Every single experience, tragic or joyful, were all meant to shape me 
to become the person who deserved to be with you.

I love you.

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