Thursday, March 31, 2011

Gamer Seeks Open-Minded DLCs

Sometimes I wonder why video game creators haven't taken the steps towards making some of their games more customizable in their sex appeal tactics.   I mean, let's face the facts:  video games nowadays are injected with just enough sensuality to hone in on a particular target market.  When the target demographic is male, video games have generous helpings of amply-gifted women whose bouncing breasts can be extras in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon thanks to their skills in defying gravity.  Or the violence meter skyrockets.  When it comes to games that can appeal to women as well, on the other hand, you have loads of colorful imagery, or a heady dose of emotional moments.   Occasionally you have games that try to appeal to both, with both male and female characters dressed suitably enough to tickle the imagination.

Snake versus Samus.
Not bad for a butt battle, eh?
Considering games nowadays are made to have the ability to incorporate new downloadable costumes, music, and the like, why not go the extra step in innovation and make the games customizable to favor what the player hopes to see.  Think of it as having a tweak board where you can have the game favor variables that can be set to a player's preferences.

Heavy Rain decided at the last minute to cancel the peen shot.
Although there are naked women in the game.
Why are people so afraid of the penis?
For example, you have the game Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
The game clearly was made to target the male demographic.  Action abounds in the game, but this is nothing compared to the numerous number of beautiful women who are revealing in "just the right way."  Add to that a stress system which can be abated by using the L1 button to stare at breasts during the FMV sequences, and you have a great game with the trappings of serving male fantasies.

And yet, truth be told there have been female and gay players who enjoy the game as well.  I know I was finding the game pretty fun, and while my bisexual side relished the stupidly fun breast peeking moments, it wondered why didn't the game have accommodations to play a similar flirty approach towards the male characters?  Solid Snake, for an old man, was given a fantastic firm ass that deserves to have ogle-options.  Raiden looks bishonen-esque enough to serve the purposes of those into that.  Even Otacon has the adorkable look going.

The Freedom to choose.
Admittedly, this would entail the need of some extra coding, which obviously equates to more work that probably would be the main reason financially why this wouldn't be done.  But let's try a step backwards and take advantage of what already exists.   In MGS4, Snake can wear different forms of clothing for camouflage.  Would it have been too hard to have the option to have him try his missions in nothing but boxer briefs, for the gay gamers would think it would be hilarious to play that way?  Or maybe even an option for Solid Snake to complete a mission dressed in drag?  (James Bond did it)

Lots of other games currently exist with the option for downloadable content.   Why not capitalize on creating content specifically for your market's preferences that can slip onto your game.  Marvel vs Capcom can easy increase their sales if they offered downloadable skins of the characters in different "artist styles."  I know I'd love to play with Wolverine dressed as he was in Astonishing X-Men.  And I'd have fun if I could play with Megaman dressed in an outfit suggesting how Jim-Lee might have drawn him.

Some modes I think that video game creators should really consider would be the following:

RUSH looks better than that upcoming Voltron movie.
1) Alternate art mode
Can you imagine playing your favorite video game with the main hero appearing more like a painting done by Van Gogh?   Or playing a game like MegaMan, but the graphics are rendered to look photorealistic?  Maybe this is too difficult for now, but it would make playing through a game real fun.   I'd love to have a game that allows me to play from 8-bit look to photo-realistic and anywhere in between when I want it.
There are... hotter images out there.
But I decided to choose the safest looking one hahah!
2) Underwear mode
Clearly this spoof mode would be most popular.  Can you imagine a whole session of Dragon Age with all the cast in the game in their underwear?  Or even if the effect applied ONLY to your character.  The hilarity of a game like Dynasty Warriors when played with heroes stripped to loin cloths and carefully placed leaves would be so crazy it would work.  After all, admit it, when you played SIMS, didn't you at least once try to have the character naked for a long period of time?

I'd so love to play the game with them all looking like this!

3) Wider-range of alternate outfits
Games of the same studio can capitalize on this the most.  Imagine playing FF13, but Lightning instead is dressed like Yuna.  Or in a Moogle outfit.  Or try playing Gears of War, but your heroes are all dressed as civilians instead?  Or highschool football team players?  Wouldn't you want to try playing Heavy Rain with all of them dressed instead for the summer?  Seriousness is not the point, after all.  These are just meant to make replay value fun.
Wouldn't YOU want to play with this Mario Brother?
I know I would!  Hahaha!  The hell with the Princess :-)
4) Alternate target mode
Imagine a typically-male targeted game like God of War, but imagine having the option to play it with the game being more favored towards treating him instead of the women as the sexual objects.  So the camera lingers on his body more.  Any other male characters in the game are dressed provocatively (think 300 if you believe men cannot look sensual and yet still time-appropriate).    Dragon Age already explores the idea of having gay relationships, an idea which I loved when it was first added to The Sims.  Why not make this a DLC for other games?

Tee hee!
5) Alternate build mode
Wouldn't you be curious to see Solid Snake as a hairy bear rather than the gym bunny he is?  Or maybe have fun seeing Kratos as a twink?  I'd love to have the option to have my favorite Dynasty warriors all looking raggedy sweaty and hairy from their battles.  That would add to the hotness of an already testosterone-bloody game.   And I know I'd be curious to see how the same group of heroes would appear if they all had bodies befitting lanky teenagers, just for fun.   (The thought of seeing a geeky man appear, to be reacted to with cries of "Its Lu bu!!!! RUUUUUN!!!" would probably crack me up so much I'd kick the PS3 down.)

My Little Silent Hill Pony for the WIN!
I know these are all unlikely to happen.  A wish thrown out towards the rainbows, I guess.  But I thought it best to share it and who knows... maybe someday someone would be crazy enough to make such a game.  I know I'd buy it.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Geekwood: Wakka

Wakka gets no love.

Splashing forth from the world of Final Fantasy X is the bulky Blitzball player Wakka who actually joins the hero's quest with the Blitzball itself as his chosen weapon.   Muscular, massive and endearingly dumb, Wakka lands a spot in this blog's geekwood.

Go Team!   Too bad no locker room sequence, eh?
Which is sad cause online there seem to be a prevalence of a different kind of Wakka.  Most fan art I've seen (very many of which are NSFW like the ones found here) have a tendency to thin him down to a slender muscle twink much like Tidus is.  For some reason, most people think he'd look better if he was barely bigger than Justin Beiber I guess.  

Oh look, I can fit right in with any boyband.
It was a struggle to find more better images of this meaty warrior.   Interestingly though, there were a lot of cosplay images.    That increased the variety of Wakkas out there.  Occasionally you'd find a hefty Wakka with either a light dusting of chest hair, or a generous helping of hair gel.

But many others were... to put it gently... clearly empowered by strong imaginations and stronger aspirations/  Very few actually managed to capture the hotness that Wakka brought to the game.  But I guess that is understandable considering he is a computer-generated character.

The apron was kinda weird, admittedly.
But yes, while Wakka may not have surged as much waves of favor as Tidus or even Kimari (darn you Furry lovers!) have, he still deserves to have a moment in the spotlight, even if he might be too dumb to understand why.

"Too dumb to understand what?"
So Wakka, this is for you.
Now go get wet and play.

We will enjoy watching.

Friday, March 18, 2011

It is not my fault you read my stuff. But clearly, you do.

I guess some people just love to think the world revolves around them.
Even worse.
Some people so desperately want to make others think MY world revolves around them.

Yes, you probably even think Global Warming is because you're too "hot."
I know I can hold very strong opinions about things.  I know some people have found me to be at times a tad too proud or too intellectual about certain aspects of life, gay or otherwise.  I know I can be very vocal about how much I hate this movie, or how much I found that politician to be abusive, and in many ways I make no apologies for that.  Perhaps me choosing to see sleeping-around-with-every-possible-hot-guy as an idiotic and disgusting lifestyle rubs off the wrong way towards some people.  For certain my having no love or understanding for people who devote their lives in the pursuit of spending someone else's hard-earned cash has not won me awards in the eyes of many others.

As they say in Filipino, "Bato bato sa langit..."
I can have blog posts about how pathetic a movie remake was and have the same passionate anger towards how I overheard a certain couple is having a guest over and that guest happens to be a "FUCK YOU" to certain people... and to mock these people further, create a profile pic of them together.   When I share my opinion, I don't hide it behind a facade of friendliness or disguise it under a clearly false attempt at looking classy.  Class isn't purchased with francs, I'm afraid.  Neither is respect.

That big?
But what amuses me the most is how for some people, EVERYTHING I post is supposedly about them.  And worse, the same said people post self-affirming delusions in hopes of counter-acting my blog or status update posts.    I don't even have those people as contacts in my social networks.  I never even shared to those people my blog addresses.  But somehow, every now and then, a little bird (also known as mutual contacts I shall, for their sake, leave unnamed) whispers to me about how "Mr. Gollum got insulted by your post about him."  Or how "Mrs. Leech is really angry right now, so hope you don't bump into the bitch."   And when these little whispers reach me, I find myself many times wondering, "What?!?" because those said people aren't even part of my daily notice.  Heck, they aren't even part of my weekly notice.

But clearly, they would like to be.
And that amuses me.

I once posted out of frustration a status update about how admitting guilt is the first step to properly asking forgiveness.  Pretty general post, I felt.   My rant was directed at some political-religious issue which you may have heard of:  how the Church admitted they were hiding pedophiles, and recommending nuns that got pregnant should get abortions.  It didn't take long before another little bird came a chirping.
"Tweet tweet"   But I don't use Twitter.

"Tobie, XXX is angry.  Why don't you just let it slide?"

I shot back a message, "What? What are you talking about?"

"Let it slide.  XXX has moved on already.  You should do the same."

Once again, XXX thinks it was all about him.  And worse, got even his own friends to think I was writing about him.    Oooookay.  Someone needs to take a chill pill.  Better yet, stuff one down his throat.
Supposedly there are hordes of people who hate my guts, even if they never heard bad stuff about me from you.
So these people just happen to think I'm an asshole and they all happen to be your friends.   Suuuuuure.
Another time, I got a message from a concerned friend who decided to contact me because YYY was bemoaning how my posts ruined his day.  The friend asked me why I felt I had to say such things about YYY and how YYY was "stopping his friends" from confronting me.  I blinked my eyes a few times to confirm I wasn't dreaming, then asked the concerned friend, "YYY thinks my posts are about him?  Why the hell would I even care to make YYY part of my blog.  Do people normally keep shit in their photo albums?"  Concerned friend tried not to laugh but perhaps in a misguided attempt to be constructive suggested, "Maybe you should just think about your updates, how they might be misconstrued to be about YYY and rewrite them if need be?"

I was aghast.  I felt insulted.
I posted a status post in reply.

"I will not censor myself for the paranoia of others."

Why should I?  Why should the pathetic paranoia of someone who doesn't even matter my life dictate how I write my updates?  Why should I stop writing about how certain things like infidelity, insensitivity, selfishness, lies, self-centeredness, and many others are things I hate just because some people out there are clearly feeling guilty of such things, are getting emotionally affected by them, and somehow think their silent admission of being guilty as charged in this hierarchy of sins allows them to spin their friends around to painting me as a bad guy... when all I am doing is actually just saying what I think in general.

Don't hate me for being happy.
Take steps to get better.
Do I have to get to the point where I be more honest to get my point across?  About how some of these friends don't realize how they get badmouthed by the same person they defend?  Or how some have been explained away as having "mental issues" as a reason they aren't voicing out any complaints about certain lifestyles?  If my posts and updates were seeking to accomplish dirt-digging blind items, by God I have many I can choose to say.  But again, that's would have been assuming those people mattered at all.   I don't care if others choose to live their lives in their perfectly woven web of lies, spinning their own friends around with layers of well-constructed manipulations to get what they want.  That their life.

You don't want me to blog about you.  
But no, no one gets to tell me I cannot voice out how disgusted I am of that kind of a lifestyle.  Just as no one gets to tell another person that he has no right hating rap music.  Or that you cannot say in your own blog how much you think Twilight was stupid and seems to promote an unhealthy lifestyle.  No one gets to tell me to censor myself just because the things I hate happen to be the lifestyle he or she proudly leads.   Anyone can freely have their own opinions about the same things.  They can love being the kabit for all I care.  They can celebrate having cash cows they can habitually milk cash out from.  They can even have a fireworks filled fucking parade for all I care to commemorate stabbing your friends in the back and sleeping with people they cared about.  That's your life.  If you're happy living in that kind of shit, then good for you.  It is the happiness YOU deserve.

You don't get to ask me to shut up for being in such a better place.

No need to say it.
I was tempted to end this blog with the song from Lady Carly.  But I decided that there was no need.
I already know you do.   You know who you are, reading this blog and already making more buzzing about how I've "once again" blogged about you.   

And the most amusing thing?  You aren't alone.  There's at least two of you who somehow live in this delusion that my blog posts are about "you specifically" and yet there's at least two of you who make that claim.

I hope you all realize someday how sad that is.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The B!tch*s battle for a Gay Icon Status

I feel like there are so many artists who are struggling to be "recognized" as "THE" gay icon for new era in fag-friendly music.   While many of them can ALREADY be considered gay icons in their own way, there seems to be this desperate push marketing-wise to be "publicly acknowledged" as one.

I still believe in you, Gaga.
Lady Gaga made hyper-time hype with the lyrics of her often-compared-to-Madonna's-Express-Yourself song, "Born This Way" when it contained lyrics that were clearly a shout out to gay people everywhere.   Lines such as "Don't be a drag, just be a queen" and "No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life" were clearly a shout-out for people to see that this song was meant to be a new gay anthem.  While she may have never said it was meant to be one, her best buddy Elton John has and clearly the press has run away with that idea.  

Then she came out with her video:

Yes.  You've seen the video and you're probably wondering what the fuck was that all about.  Personally, I feel shafted.  Lady Gaga was genius when she did Poker Face and Bad Romance.   She was trendsetting when she made us love Paparazzi.  She slipped slightly backwards with Alejandro (which clearly was more Madonna than Gaga) but regained her footing with Telephone.  But this?  Heavenly Lord, she makes a song that sounds too much like Madonna, then makes a video that outright steals from David Bowie and Marilyn Manson and plays into the hands of all who want to make us think she's part of the Illuminati.  I just shook my head and told myself, Lady Gaga will survive this for sure.  But man, she wasted a chance to really make a mark that was truly hers.

Exactly what image are you supposed to portray anyway?
P!nk had her own torch-song to throw out there.  As I mentioned in a previous blog post, P!nk really succeeded in making a catchy dance-able tune.  The beat is very memorable and can easily weave into one's head when one ain't careful and the play with words is quite intriguing to say the least.  But what the lyrics shouts of is an ironic self-empowering through self-degradation (aka taking over the word) similar to how blacks can use the "n" word without it being so negatively degrading.  P!nk wants us to proudly think we are freaks who are just fine being "all on our own."  Confusing lyrics since the video shows a more "we stand together" image that I personally feel more favored towards.   So, P!nk, that was close but not quite what it could have been.
The ONLY innovative scene in her latest video.
Then there's Britney whose comeback is composed of a series of nicely dance floor dangerous tracks with a music video far more obsessed with harking the sponsors she has and pushing so desperately the idea she is THE NEW GAY ICON.  I do not recall when else did she ever have oh so obviously gay dancers with her before.  Her songs bring back the music we love from Britney (something Lady Gaga might want to learn to do very soon) but her styling seems just wrong considering how much weight she has still to work off the image she so desperately wants to sell.    And just in case you didn't get it, the die-hard fans have made a push to make her THE GAY ICON is shown in supposed surveys that were made to declare her as such.  Understandably, Britney had such a moment before.   I don't blame her for so wanting to be that again.   I wish her a lot of luck though.

Katy Perry knows how to have fun without losing who she is.
If there's one musician who has very neatly established herself as a gay icon without really trying, that would be Katy Perry.  She is beautiful without forcing it.  She is fun without being crass.  She is sassy and stylish without being schizophrenic.  And best yet, she has a song that has both lyrics and a visual message that are uplifting to anyone who has ever been discriminated against.  Her song Firework is such a positive celebration that it can apply to cancer survivors, people who have been targets of discrimination due to gender or race, and even people who simply feel they do not fit in.  The song isn't about needing to fight back or spitting at the face of other people for not being accepted.  It is about knowing deep inside of each one of us is a light that deserves to shine.

Her earlier songs such as "I Kissed a Girl" and "Hot/Cold" were dance hits that nicely jived with the rainbow dance floor.  Her newer songs such as "California Girls" and "Teenage Dream" are finding audiences in both straight and gay crowds that are celebrating them together.  Katy Perry definitely has the upper hand now in becoming the next Gay Icon.  I only wonder if she can keep it up.

Yes dear.  Been that many years and you are still fabulous!
Maybe someday, among these a true Gay Icon shall emerge.  Someone who can actually have the right to be compared to Kylie who has for year after year after year remained fabulous and flirty and uplifting without effort.  Considering everything that has happened both to her and to the music industry, Kylie remains an impeccable true Gay Icon and a Diva whose music celebrates love in all its forms and colors.  Even her recent hits like "Get Outta My Way" are more uplifting than aggressive, and that what I personally feel establishes her as a true Gay Icon.   The struggle to be accepted and welcomed as who we are will never be won with aggression.  It can only be won when those who hate us learn that love can never be overcome.

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