Can you help us make this come true?

I SOOOOOO love the Kitchen.

Rocky and I found a house we can dare call our dream house.

The place is pretty awesome, with two floors, a fantastic kitchen, a nice spacious living room, parking for two cars, a cool balcony for any smoking guests, a really cute cabinet-hidden bodega under the stairs, and even a possible makeshift garden area in the back.  Honestly, it is a wonderful find given it is within Cubao and quite accessible for both cars and public transport with just enough street-level adjustment to avoid flooding.

I want to be able to call it our home.
I really do.

Rocky surprised me one morning with this change in status.

But admittedly, it is a tad outside my comfortable price range.  Alone.
It is also outside Rocky's price range.  Alone.

Together, however, the dream becomes a bit more reachable.

But not without help.

Buying a house and lot is always a huge commitment that requires both dedication and a clear mind.  The cash amounts involved can make anyone's head spin.  The bigger picture of being responsible for an actual house, which includes everything from maintenance, to security, can be staggering.  And most of all, there's the decision of whose name the house will be under.

And here's where I need your help, my dear readers.

Here in the Philippines, there is still no official way to get married to your gay partner.
Boasting itself as the remaining Catholic country in South East Asia, the Church still has a very strong stance against homosexual unions.  And the government is still pretty much in its infancy when it comes to gay rights.  Now, my partner Rocky and I have been together for over two years now, and to be frank, have realized that we have found the person we are excited to spend the rest of our lives with.    Neither of us have any plans nor dreams of ever migrating to another country either.

Lasalle + Ateneo = Love

In this country, where we cannot get married, we realize sharing this house, in official documents as the named co-owners is the closest thing we can get to a formal official symbol of our union.  Like a marriage, the title of the house becomes an official document that will require from us to stay "together" in this decision, to work  as a couple through anything life may throw at us, and to "raise" this house and care for it, and develop it for the years to come.  This house, in many ways, is our "Philippine gay marriage".

We're definitely contacting our parents to help us in making this a reality.  In many ways, I personally am already expecting some resistance.  My parents, as loving and caring and open-minded as they have been about my coming out and my relationship with Rocky, are still hoping for me to find the right girl.  Those are points scored for my being a true bisexual I guess.  I hope they can see that this desire to share this house with Rocky is me saying, "Yes Mom and Dad, I'm looking at this relationship as something for the rest of my life.  This is pretty much like us getting married.  Will you help me in doing my part to make this a reality?"

How can you readers help out?

I would love to have more avenues and ways to earn additional income to help with the coming bills and expenses.  Unlike Rocky, I have been unemployed for quite some time after working a long stint as a Senior Art Director and a Graphic Artist for ABS-CBN Global Limited.  I had quit work in hopes of continuing my dream of a film career, but had to put that in hold to help out in the family business, a "help out" that continues to occupy most of my time which I could have had used instead working in a new job.  Not content with this, and knowing I had to do my share in handling the bills and such, I succeeded in finding a job as a freelance writer for a major entertainment network, writing for them and sending them copy work through the net.    The pay isn't big, but it does help me settle the bills.    I know, however, that if I want this dream house to become a reality, I have to up my game.  I have to bring in more money somehow and that's where you readers can help me out.

The easiest would be to be given writing or art-related contractual work offers.  I have an extensive range of experience when it comes to advertising, having worked for more than six years at an international company, creating print, televised and new media advertising that targeted audiences and markets in Europe, Middle East, United States and Japan.  I've made quite a large range of design work as well, from websites, to banners, logos, billboards, full page ads, ezines, vhs and dvd covers as well as web and television commercials.  I can do freehand artwork, photo manipulations and mixed media.  I've directed and acted in some short films and I used to even host a webshow called Fandom Live! for a few years.  I also do webcomics, ranging from whimsical to dark and broody.  I've written poetry, short stories and while this is starting to sound like a resume, I've decide against posting an actual resume because I want to keep this blog post personal and honest, rather than professional and formal sounding.

Thank you for reading!

I'm looking at trying to create pdfs on role-playing games, given it the biggest hobby and passion I have.  I'm also considering making small ebooks or enovels to have sold for the Kindle and the like, once I find a way to do so.  Maybe even online comics like my last one, but this time aimed to generate income.  Honestly, anything to help boost my income a tad more, without affecting the two responsibilities I already am juggling.

Anyway, I've rambled long enough.  But I do hope someone out there might have some ideas (or offers).  Once, I had a dream to do movies.  Too many things stood in the way and I was forced to sacrifice it, believing I needed to help my family first.  Now, for this, I think its time for me to shoot for the moon and reach for my dream.

For our dream.

Can you help me make it happen?

Someday.

Rocky and I will have our own chance.

I believe someday it will happen.

I believe someday the world will allow us to celebrate our love.

Just like New York has.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/portraits-of-gay-couples-just-married-in-new-york

Congratulations to you all!

A host of messages I wish I could say

In this era of social networking, one can easily get a glimpse of the lives of one's friends through their newsfeeds and updates.   While this is mostly good and cool in keeping in touch, it does also at times place one in the strange zone of knowing more than one wanted to know.  Or worse, feeling the urge to offer unsolicited advice for friends who clearly are doing things the wrong way.

But since unsolicited advice is never welcomed, I decided to just write this open blog post and dedicate them to the many people who will probably NEVER read this page anyway since they are absorbed right now by what they believe to be insurmountable problems of their own.

So yeah, let's begin:

If you think the relationship is that fucked up, then by all that is right and holy, end it.  You do deserve better.  And guess what, so does your partner.

Stop looking for love by going to a gay club and flirting with strangers.  You'll have a better chance meeting new people through friends at parties, or contacting someone online with a clear declaration of wanting to get to know each other and not sleep together as a first intention.

If you caused your own damned problem, stop whining about it on the social network, then getting angry when people point out it is your fault.

No, we're not talking about you.  But yes, it is amusing to know you still read everything I post as about you.

Don't worry too much.  Your work will always be as successful.  You have true talent.  And an innate ability to reach out and touch people's lives.

I'm sorry you're in your situation.  But I'm no longer in any position to help you have a better life.  You had your chance.

Seriously, look in the mirror.  Keep your eyes open this time.

It ain't escape when its leaving someplace that keeps you from being happy and taking steps towards taking back responsibility for your own life.

Guess what, it gets EVEN BETTER.

I love you, Rocky Sunico.

These are not engagement rings or wedding rings.

But they do hold meaning in our commitment as partners.

Every day just keeps getting better.

On the Dance Floor

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Theorgy. And Why I Blog.

My partner alerted me to an upcoming gay blogger event called Theorgy which has definitely perked my interest.  The idea is to have numerous gay bloggers write on a specific topic on a specific day, with September one being devoted to the topic of Coming Out.

Could this be the start of a good thing?
I hope so.

The term Theorgy sounds like a play with words to me:  Theory being merged with Orgy.   The idea seems to do suggest that it is about a group of people doing a sharing of views and perhaps a study of beliefs and opinions.  The word play is quite quaint and it does grab attention.

I feel happy to see that there is movement in having gay blogs contain more than the usual mix of nearly naked men, sexual escapades, fashion, rumor or blind item controversies, or porn reviews.  While I will admit to having my own share of interests in such things, I will state a part of me really hopes to find more gay blogs that discuss topics beyond the usual nsfw variety.

Jakey agrees.  Can't always just be about his body, right?

Being gay, after all, is a much more colorful experience than just sex, naked men, and rumors of who is and isn't still in the closet.  While I have been blogging for many years, I only started blogging about my gay life after realizing that I did want to have one which reflected on such topics more freely.  My current blog is already overly cluttered with posts on role playing games, daily grind rants, geekgasms on upcoming movies and games, and the like.  Blame it on the rain, bro became my outlet to discuss things which definitely reflected more of my gay life and clearly that was more than just sex.

Yep.  Too many people ignoring their brains and using their dicks to do the thinking.
Others don't even bother trying to think.

I wonder though why many seem to limit their gay experience to be the sexual kind.  While I understand that it is sex, sexual interest, and gender identity that defines one to be gay, I would not like to think that everything else in the world then becomes default straight.  My partner cautioned me though in believing that there aren't any such blogs out there.  Many, he shared, did exist must most have gone inactive in as the years gone by.

Oh dead blogs.  I hardly knew you.

I wonder if others out there would like to try to help make the presence of such blogs more known.

I've tried reading some of the gay friendly local blogs that I have heard of and some didn't quite rub me the right way.  I wasn't too happy to see blogs that seemed to view the idea of infidelity or fooling around with married men as "an exciting moment" in one's life.  I didn't quite agree with other blogs that suggested wearing branded clothes was the standard which defined a gay man as having class or not.  I was literally turned off by  blogs that seemed devoted to spreading rumors, accusing others of being closeted and celebrating the (what I feel is an abusive) art of blind items.

Why not more gay blogs that talk about life beyond the waistband and lubricated anus?  Why not blogs that reflect we can love sports beyond the muscular guys who wear them tiny shorts?  Why not blogs that talk about how cooking became an icebreaker on how they reached out to their parents and regained acceptance?   Or how being HIV positive opened one's eyes to living a much more positive and appreciative life?   Lots of gay friends I know lead colorful, challenging, and over all interesting lives.  Why can we not celebrate these lives more in our blogs?

Maybe if Will and Grace did this more often, the show would have had a stronger
staying power for today's gay audience?

In many ways I feel the kind of blogs out there nicely reflect the kind of gay friendly shows we finally have access to as well.  Years back, beautifully written shows like Will and Grace showed us that a gay man can be very multifaceted.  Will stood out in contrast to his friend Jack, yet both got along campily well in many other ways.  But then came shows like Queer as Folk and Dante's Cove which seemed to focus more on the sexual energy and abusive relationships that also existed in gay couplings.  It doesn't come as a surprise that a lot of people love the shows, but it does make me worry how many still have the misconception that a gay lifestyle is limited to that kind of a life.   I am still hoping for more people to learn of shows like Torchwood and Modern Family to see that being gay can go much further than just being a guy who loves to sleep around and can't keep their dick in their pants.  Sadly, even a very well executed and written show like Glee still seems lacking in the gay =/= sex department.  I have yet to really see from Curt see more than his right to have feelings for Finn.  I would have liked Curt to be mature enough to understand that Finn does also deserve to have his own personal space.

Oh no, I dissed Curt.  I wonder if that's Hate Mail I hear coming?
Oh Curt can't wait to see me suffer for dissing him.

In a way, the feeling that the world needs to see more gay blogs that aren't obsessing over other's men's genitalia will be a huge source of momentum for me in keeping this blog going.  I wouldn't like people who aren't blessed with the joy of having gay friends to find nothing but meat, meat, meat, and more meat online when they chance upon a gay friendly site.  I think keeping this blog alive would be my part in helping show that the gay experience is far more than just a change of pussycats with roosters.

In can be a whole lot more colorful than they can ever dream.

Shouldn't we then do what we can to help them see that?

I believe in Karma. And Stupidity.

I recently attended a birthday bash a friend of mine was having.   The party was held at our favorite haunt and with three tables reserved just for us, I opted to stay at the table I usually am at, enjoying its familiarity and closeness to the air conditioner.  There were a large number of new faces that evening.  While I was amongst friends and good buddies, there was a very generous helping of new faces and I had my share of introductions and ice breaker toasts.  A few more tequila shots later between rounds of Extra Joss empowered beer and I found myself giddy and dancing to the great music.    I saw a lot of old friends who now had partners and true to my nickname-sake, began to talk to each of them like a mother would to her child's new suitor.  I reminded them of the importance of honesty and respect and how if they crossed the line, I would call upon every true and powerful thing outside the arms of the law to smite them.

The night was good.  Dancing and laughter were shared in abundance.  Anecdotes shared.  Jokes remembered.

I missed my partner.  He was stuck at work that night, and being a responsible manager, he didn't exactly think the idea of just calling in sick was acceptable.  So I had dropped him off at work before driving to the party and now felt how much I wished he was with me.  The sea of laughing faces, iced alcohol and frenetic dance steps seemed less... fun... without him.

It was then that it happened.

As the group toasted another round for the birthday boy, a friend I had not seen for quite some time stumbled close - evidently having a tad too much to drink - and stared at the boyfriend of one of my buddies.  With a smile, the friend swung an arm around the boyfriend's neck, then pulled him close as if to whisper something to his ear.   This was happening just a foot in front of me.   Leaning close to grab the friend in case gravity won against his wobbly knees, I overheard him stumbling over his own words as he slid his hand to the guy's chest and squeezed.

Uh oh.

A quick glance and I saw the boyfriend's partner, my other friend, staring at the incident with contained anger.  Knowing this was most likely the alcohol and not actual stupidity, I stepped forward and quickly grabbed drunk buddy with my arms, pulled him off the boyfriend, and sat him down beside me.  Drunk friend laughed, obviously oblivious to what was going on, and asked me if he can hug me.  I told him it was fine and used it as a means to keep him from tipping over.

While I am not that much a believer that alcohol should excuse one of acting stupidly (for I still believe no matter how drunk a person gets, the choice to act is always a choice, though admittedly drunk people make really bad ones.  The alcohol does NOT make the choice for you.)  I began think about how some people choose to act stupidly for supposed romantic or whatever reasons, but when truly confronted are easily revealed to be selfish ones.  And mind you, I am in no means washing my hands clean and claiming to be pure and innocent of stupid choices.  I too have made my own number of mistakes in the past.  But I have always admitted my mistakes and lived up to my promises.

I know of some people who seem to thrive on the idea of going for people who are attached.  It does not matter how loyal the others are, or whether or not their own relationship is going well.  The call for something as forbidden as a taken man seems too irresistible to ignore.

I know also of others who live their lives crying wolf.  They lie, cheat, and in some cases even steal, then when caught blame society, blame their partner, blame the other man, or even blame mental illness they claim to have... but never do they simply fess up and admit their fault.

And I know of others who thrive on manipulation and gossip.  They twist the truth and spread so much white lies, they convince themselves of their own inventions.  Even something as me telling another, "I rather not say anything at the risk of being accused of backstabbing a person.." was reinterpreted and spread as me supposedly spreading bad gossip about a person.

Stupid people.
Stupid choices.
And worse yet, the stupid fact that many others are blind to these facts and accept their words as gospel.

Sometimes I wish I could do something to help.  Many of these people aren't exactly enemies or people I dislike (although there is one whom I wish would finally pay the karmic debt of all the @*$*&#%^*# he's done to others), and sad but true, most won't take kindly to any attempt to help them become better people.  Some would cry foul and demand to be given the "right" to live their lives how they want.   And while I do agree we all have a right to finding our own kind of happiness, how does one balance respecting such rights when one can clearly see the other is trapped in an unfair situation?

"If they don't help themselves..."

I was told that was supposed to be the main difference.  If you have a friend whose hard-earned money was being leeched away by a wife who seems to be the very definition of infidelity, you have no right to say anything is wrong about it if the friend doesn't complain anyway.  That's their life.  That's their call if they want to live that kind of a life.

In some ways, that sounds true.

However, what if the friend doesn't complain not because he is okay with it, but because he just rather not "make a fuss" over things.   It isn't that he's happy with the situation or accepts it.  What if its because he thinks by acting he loses everything?

This seems to be a long blog entry with no clear direction.  I guess I was just trying to jot down thoughts and see where they lead.  Sometimes, I think it is easier to just pretend that I don't know things.  Pretend I don't see the little wrongs going on.  To just act as if I was blind too to the unacceptable acts of stupidity that people I care about engage in.

But would that not be any different from getting drunk, then blaming the beer for hitting on a friend's boyfriend?

Wouldn't that just be a choice to be dishonest?