2048 : the hOnest truth edition

Just saying...

http://games.usvsth3m.com/2048/honesttruth-edition/

Geekwood: Monkey

Wow... that pose makes me think bad things...

Okay, I have to admit I'm not that familiar with this game yet.
But man I have to say, this guy is making me feel very excited... for many different reasons.

Woof.  I say it again.  Woof.

The game has motion capture work by Andy Serkis, who is known for his portrayals of Gollum, the smart ape Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  I wonder though if the game was approached with a very PG audience in mind, or if they indulged in giving some interesting motions to this particular piece of man meat.

The infamous story of the Monkey King.

Being a western reinterpretation of the Chinese story Journey to the West, this game is set 150 years in the future in a post apocalyptic world with the main guy, Monkey, being the character you use.  Oh Monkey.  You might not be handsome, but man you're built the way men should be.

Any lower and we'd all be smiling.

Then there's your pole.  Nicely sturdy pole, it is.  In Chinese Legend, the Monkey King's pole could grow and shrink to accommodate whatever needs were required.  I wonder if yours does the same.

Aww this could have been the crotch shot.  Then again, with the rod out there, there wouldn't be a crotch shot.

Gotta admit too a big plus is the fact you have very nice feet.  Most geekwood hunks are pretty lacking in that department.  Some have stumps of color.  Others have eternally worn shoes.  You have feet with nice toes.  And yeah, some of us like men with nice feet.

Looks less bulky in actual size, sadly.

So congratulations Monkey, you're on this blog's Geekwood.  I must ask though, are you ever going to have some time for monkey business?  I got a banana you might wanna try.

The (Unofficial) White Party of 2011!

Saturday marked the date for what was supposed to be the White Party celebration here in Manila, but the night before had a storm named Falcon (warning, NSFW link here) showing up and drowning many parts of the city under almost half a meter of water.  In what seems to slowly becoming a growing tradition for me and Rocky, we decided to come up with cool shirts we can wear for the event.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I wanted to find a design which celebrated both our geekiness and our gayness at the same time!

But sadly, thanks to the porn-studio-named typhoon, the official White Party was declared cancelled and was to be rescheduled on a different day.  Rocky and I, however, found ourselves still wanting to celebrate that night due to many reasons:  New York just legalized Gay Marriage, The Stonewall Riots were still an event to be remembered and celebrated, and our friend was still going to our favorite haunt, O bar, to introduce us to her partner.

So yeah, we pushed through with our "unofficial" White Party and wore our lovely shirts.  Here they are!

Blurry pic care of the elevator mirror.

For those who were curious, or aren't geek enough to grasp it, yes, the shirt designs were inspired by the PlayStation Portable game called Patapon.

Rocky's shirt.

And mine.

The best part?  The quote in the back of the shirt is an actual quote from the game!   To make the design, I actually had to dig around the net for two things:  high resolution images of the Patapons, and a font typeface of the font they actually use in the game.   The Patapons I was able to find, but not in the size I actually needed.  So to make it work for the design, I had to redraw the figures in Photoshop.   The font was more interesting.  There were files of the letters, but no actual font that I could find.  Many sites suggested directions on how to convert the file to a font, but I couldn't make any sense of it.  So what did I do?

I actually had to find ways to push the size of the text images to a high resolution and keep sharpening it for the design.  Thankfully, I got it to work!

Spank Them Bottoms!

Horror of horrors though, I worked on the Patapons too much to realize the big mistake that was present in the shirt designs.  The mistake?  Well, I used the WRONG RAINBOW.  The rainbow I had used was actually the traditional rainbow with all seven colors.  Ironic that I'd overlook that detail considering I had to actually redo the rainbow as well as the bisexual triangle icon for the high resolution needs of the design.

Proud to be Geeky and Gay!

Still, I feel pretty proud of our White Party shirts.  They weren't as big a hit with the people present as our Katamari Damacy inspired shirts before, but what mattered most was we loved wearing them.   In a celebration of being proud of who you are, wearing a shirt that you didn't just buy off the rack feels fantastic.

Hmm must start working out again.  I don't fill shirts like I used to.

It does make me wonder... come next Pride, what do we wear next!

Suggestions are always welcome :-P

Happy White Party!
Happy Gay Pride!

2011 White Party Shirt Rejects

So, Rocky and I are now ready with our White Party T-shirts!  I was worried about this some days ago, uncertain as to what design we would find to celebrate both our geekiness and our gayness in one go.  Last year, Katamari Damacy was our theme and while the quality of the shirts were less than what we had hoped for, they were still a joy to have.

This year, I decided to try to come up with a few new designs for our shirts.  The first design I toyed around with was based on this quirky game on both the PSP and the PS3 which Rocky and I simply adore.  The game is Loco Roco, and for those unfamiliar, it is a game where you try to nudge, influence and guide a bunch of colored cutesy blobs from one place to another, to wake up others of their kind, to hit switches, and to defeat dark mojas that are out to eat them.    The game as a host of odd yet awesome characters of varying colors, which seemed apt to have for our shirt designs.  Wanting to have a slightly naughty touch to reflect the gay side, I came up with these shirts:

As you can probably see, the shirts are quite cute actually, with just enough subliminal touches to be naughty.  Even better, there were blue and green Loco Rocos to use to represent... uh... Rocky and Me. 

Another shirt design I toyed around with was one which incorporated George Takei.   After Tennessee's "Don't Say Gay" bill came to light, George was witty enough to offer his own name as a good replacement for the word Gay in places where it may be frowned upon.  Check out his hilariously cool video below:

At first Rocky and I were thinking of ordering from his official merchandise.  A tad pricey, but well worth the geek cred and fun.   Unfortunately, stocks were out and we were forced to reconsider making our own.  A group of friends of ours who DO fun geek shirts weren't too keen to "taking from Takei's sales" by making their own spin, so Rocky and I decided to try coming up with our own spin on things.  This is what we came up with:

Ultimately, while cool, we decided it was kind of too simple.

So yeah, I went back to the drawing board and tried to think of what else nicely captures our geek-gay life and even better, would be fun enough to wear.  Then it hit me.  The visuals were striking enough to be uniquely geek, yet not too strange.  And their catch-phrase was PERFECT for the White Party.

What will our final White Party shirts be?
Find out soon!

Gamer Seeks Open-Minded DLCs

Sometimes I wonder why video game creators haven't taken the steps towards making some of their games more customizable in their sex appeal tactics.   I mean, let's face the facts:  video games nowadays are injected with just enough sensuality to hone in on a particular target market.  When the target demographic is male, video games have generous helpings of amply-gifted women whose bouncing breasts can be extras in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon thanks to their skills in defying gravity.  Or the violence meter skyrockets.  When it comes to games that can appeal to women as well, on the other hand, you have loads of colorful imagery, or a heady dose of emotional moments.   Occasionally you have games that try to appeal to both, with both male and female characters dressed suitably enough to tickle the imagination.

Snake versus Samus.
Not bad for a butt battle, eh?

Considering games nowadays are made to have the ability to incorporate new downloadable costumes, music, and the like, why not go the extra step in innovation and make the games customizable to favor what the player hopes to see.  Think of it as having a tweak board where you can have the game favor variables that can be set to a player's preferences.

Heavy Rain decided at the last minute to cancel the peen shot.
Although there are naked women in the game.
Why are people so afraid of the penis?

For example, you have the game Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
The game clearly was made to target the male demographic.  Action abounds in the game, but this is nothing compared to the numerous number of beautiful women who are revealing in "just the right way."  Add to that a stress system which can be abated by using the L1 button to stare at breasts during the FMV sequences, and you have a great game with the trappings of serving male fantasies.



And yet, truth be told there have been female and gay players who enjoy the game as well.  I know I was finding the game pretty fun, and while my bisexual side relished the stupidly fun breast peeking moments, it wondered why didn't the game have accommodations to play a similar flirty approach towards the male characters?  Solid Snake, for an old man, was given a fantastic firm ass that deserves to have ogle-options.  Raiden looks bishonen-esque enough to serve the purposes of those into that.  Even Otacon has the adorkable look going.

The Freedom to choose.

Admittedly, this would entail the need of some extra coding, which obviously equates to more work that probably would be the main reason financially why this wouldn't be done.  But let's try a step backwards and take advantage of what already exists.   In MGS4, Snake can wear different forms of clothing for camouflage.  Would it have been too hard to have the option to have him try his missions in nothing but boxer briefs, for the gay gamers would think it would be hilarious to play that way?  Or maybe even an option for Solid Snake to complete a mission dressed in drag?  (James Bond did it)

Wrrarrrr...

Lots of other games currently exist with the option for downloadable content.   Why not capitalize on creating content specifically for your market's preferences that can slip onto your game.  Marvel vs Capcom can easy increase their sales if they offered downloadable skins of the characters in different "artist styles."  I know I'd love to play with Wolverine dressed as he was in Astonishing X-Men.  And I'd have fun if I could play with Megaman dressed in an outfit suggesting how Jim-Lee might have drawn him.

Some modes I think that video game creators should really consider would be the following:

RUSH looks better than that upcoming Voltron movie.

1) Alternate art mode
Can you imagine playing your favorite video game with the main hero appearing more like a painting done by Van Gogh?   Or playing a game like MegaMan, but the graphics are rendered to look photorealistic?  Maybe this is too difficult for now, but it would make playing through a game real fun.   I'd love to have a game that allows me to play from 8-bit look to photo-realistic and anywhere in between when I want it.

There are... hotter images out there.
But I decided to choose the safest looking one hahah!

2) Underwear mode
Clearly this spoof mode would be most popular.  Can you imagine a whole session of Dragon Age with all the cast in the game in their underwear?  Or even if the effect applied ONLY to your character.  The hilarity of a game like Dynasty Warriors when played with heroes stripped to loin cloths and carefully placed leaves would be so crazy it would work.  After all, admit it, when you played SIMS, didn't you at least once try to have the character naked for a long period of time?

I'd so love to play the game with them all looking like this!

3) Wider-range of alternate outfits
Games of the same studio can capitalize on this the most.  Imagine playing FF13, but Lightning instead is dressed like Yuna.  Or in a Moogle outfit.  Or try playing Gears of War, but your heroes are all dressed as civilians instead?  Or highschool football team players?  Wouldn't you want to try playing Heavy Rain with all of them dressed instead for the summer?  Seriousness is not the point, after all.  These are just meant to make replay value fun.

Wouldn't YOU want to play with this Mario Brother?
I know I would!  Hahaha!  The hell with the Princess :-)

4) Alternate target mode
Imagine a typically-male targeted game like God of War, but imagine having the option to play it with the game being more favored towards treating him instead of the women as the sexual objects.  So the camera lingers on his body more.  Any other male characters in the game are dressed provocatively (think 300 if you believe men cannot look sensual and yet still time-appropriate).    Dragon Age already explores the idea of having gay relationships, an idea which I loved when it was first added to The Sims.  Why not make this a DLC for other games?

Tee hee!

5) Alternate build mode
Wouldn't you be curious to see Solid Snake as a hairy bear rather than the gym bunny he is?  Or maybe have fun seeing Kratos as a twink?  I'd love to have the option to have my favorite Dynasty warriors all looking raggedy sweaty and hairy from their battles.  That would add to the hotness of an already testosterone-bloody game.   And I know I'd be curious to see how the same group of heroes would appear if they all had bodies befitting lanky teenagers, just for fun.   (The thought of seeing a geeky man appear, to be reacted to with cries of "Its Lu bu!!!! RUUUUUN!!!" would probably crack me up so much I'd kick the PS3 down.)

My Little Silent Hill Pony for the WIN!

I know these are all unlikely to happen.  A wish thrown out towards the rainbows, I guess.  But I thought it best to share it and who knows... maybe someday someone would be crazy enough to make such a game.  I know I'd buy it.

Geekwood: Wakka

Wakka gets no love.

Awww...

Splashing forth from the world of Final Fantasy X is the bulky Blitzball player Wakka who actually joins the hero's quest with the Blitzball itself as his chosen weapon.   Muscular, massive and endearingly dumb, Wakka lands a spot in this blog's geekwood.

Go Team!   Too bad no locker room sequence, eh?

Which is sad cause online there seem to be a prevalence of a different kind of Wakka.  Most fan art I've seen (very many of which are NSFW like the ones found here) have a tendency to thin him down to a slender muscle twink much like Tidus is.  For some reason, most people think he'd look better if he was barely bigger than Justin Beiber I guess.  

Oh look, I can fit right in with any boyband.

It was a struggle to find more better images of this meaty warrior.   Interestingly though, there were a lot of cosplay images.    That increased the variety of Wakkas out there.  Occasionally you'd find a hefty Wakka with either a light dusting of chest hair, or a generous helping of hair gel.

But many others were... to put it gently... clearly empowered by strong imaginations and stronger aspirations/  Very few actually managed to capture the hotness that Wakka brought to the game.  But I guess that is understandable considering he is a computer-generated character.

The apron was kinda weird, admittedly.

But yes, while Wakka may not have surged as much waves of favor as Tidus or even Kimari (darn you Furry lovers!) have, he still deserves to have a moment in the spotlight, even if he might be too dumb to understand why.

"Too dumb to understand what?"
Precisely.

So Wakka, this is for you.
Now go get wet and play.

Sexface!

We will enjoy watching.

Geekwood: Rygar

Rygar and I first met way back when I was still unaware that I was going to grow up into a happy bisexual man. At that time, being the geek I also am, videogames were a huge part of my life.  Console gaming was on the rise and the Nintendo Entertainment System was gaining ground with its wide selection of games.    I loved the games back then.  There was a certain kind of joy in seeing enemies plummet to their doom in Balloon Fight.  There was a spine-tingling excitement in shoot out the lights in Elevator Action.  One game which stood out for me was a game about a shirtless hero in red pants who used a shield as his weapon.  The game was called Rygar and unlike most games, it was not content to merely be a side-scrolling adventure.  While lacking an actual battery or save game system to make it easier to beat, the game had enough elements such as role playing game elements, upgradeable weapons and interesting bosses  to keep me playing on it for hours each day.

Simple title screens.   I miss those.

It wasn't til after I became more aware of my sexuality and the release of the long delayed sequel on the Playstation 2 that I realized how hot Rygar actually was.  And in many ways, that was the theme of Rygar's failures:  Coming too late.

 I wonder if Rygar inspired me to like Bara stuff?  Hmmm!

Rygar's lack of a save game system caused it to suffer in many ways, the least of which was having gamers who thought the game was way too hard.     Many would opt to leave their units on through many nights with the hope of finishing the game.   Most however would instead have their mothers complain about them wasting electricity or have them shutting off the unit thinking it wasn't being used.  The save game function came too late.

Working that Tiara!
And I love the photoshop disaster on the tree behind him.

Rygar's signature weapon was a unique weapon even for its time.   Nowadays, the idea of a shield used as a weapon thanks to a flexible chain seems commonplace, with games like Ragnarok Online and even more evidently God of War having stolen the idea and made it seemingly their own.  But Rygar came first with the ability of throwing the shield at the enemy, usually in rapid successive throws, until the enemy was brought down.    I recall how annoyed I was to overhear some gamer in a shop once remark that Rygar "copied" God of War.   We geeks can feel quite elitist at times, I admit.

Oh Rygar.  At least you're still proudly in red.

Rygar's arrival on the Playstation 2 system came too late too.  The game was released way after the success of the God of War franchise and instead looked like a sad copy rather than the return of the original adventurer.  The game too arrived at the market at a time when most were already considering the jump to the newer consoles such as the Playstation 3 and the Wii.

Hmm... not working the Tiara as well now.

Lastly, the look of the character shifted away from its signature look and sadly fell towards a more anime looking style.  While admittedly the original look seemed strange, with our hero in red pants with a Tiara on his head, the Playstation 2 look attempted to give him a more Greek appearance while maintaining the red thematic touch.  The latest look on the Wii however reminds me more of some Korean MMO than our Diskarmor weilding hunk.

Not that much a fan of the new look.
But it is a nice modernization to it, I guess.

Ultimately, Rygar deserves some love and this blog is giving him that spotlight even for just this brief moment in time.  While you may have traded your long dark locks for a shock of white fire, and you've given up on your proud red outfit for something more bipolar in nature, I will at least give you bonus points for choosing to share a tad more skin, a new interest in body art, and that hint of a soul patch that makes you look dirty in just the right way.

Okay, NOW a fan of the new look.
Sighs.   Thank god for hot cosplayers.

Rygar rates an epic three throbbingly thrown Diskarmors.

Because I am a Geek first, and Gay second...

Seven things I recommend every gay geek should know:

7) Seven Sins
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7_Sins
While not a fantastic game, the game does allow you to go around and sleep with men.  Ultimately a meh thing, but it does add you geek cred when you mention this game since... practically everyone else ignored it!  But yes, this strange lovechild of The Sims and the Bible tries to draw an audience that has always wanted to indulge in the Seven Deadly Sins but learned such aren't allowed in the Maxis videogame.

6) Robot Unicorn Attack
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
From the people who brought you Adult Swim comes a fun free flash-based game where rainbow hues are definitely well deserved.  Robot Unicorn Attack takes elements from the free-online-turned-iphone game Canabalt, adds a wonderful robot unicorn with the ability to charge in the air, and packages it neatly with the last song syndrome inducing Erasure tune, "Always."   This is definitely a game that has to be experienced, and yes, for closeted people like me the game is safe enough to play in public.  Trust me!

5) Dragon Age: Origins
http://dragonage.bioware.com
Few roleplaying games allow you to have gay relationships in them.  Thankfully, the beautifully rendered and wonderfully challenging fantasy game, Dragon Age:Origins, gives you a chance to do that and guess what, it ain't just some small moment of text either.  While the call for a "nude patch" has finally been answered by someone out there, even without such a hack, the game itself not only allows you to have a gay lover... but actually gives you one who looks pretty good.

4) Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend

Never heard of this?  Watch the vid and you will never forget it ever again.
While it might not actually be a game, any gay geek should know it.
And spread it even more.

3) Cho Aniki series
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cho_Aniki

Also known as Super Big Brother, this side-scrolling videogame has more gay elements than you can imagine with each successive edition to its series.  Of the few aware of the game's existence, know now you are counted among the few who have heard of it. 

2) Katamari Damacy series

Any gay geek who does not know of Katamari Damacy is definitely in the need of having his or her gender checked.  Seriously.  Katamari Damacy and its sequels have always had a nice campiness without losing the fun edge.  The game is popular enough to have become the source of inspiration for cosplayers, wedding themes and commercials.  Even the catchy music is worth checking out (I know I've survived a few long drives by playing the songs of the first and second game in my car.)

1) Muscle March
http://www.musclemarch.com/
And just when you'd think Katamari Damacy has broken your brain and made you love the Royal Rainbow, the same makers have come up with a new game that goes even further.  If you've seen those hilarious videos of the Hole in the Wall/Human Tetris gameshows then you have an idea what this game is like.  

If you've been wondering whether or not to get a Wii, this game should be the answer to that question.

To quote the official site:

Muscle March™ is a quirky Japanese action game stuffed full of macho bodybuilders. The all mighty protein powder has been stolen so it's up to Tony and his muscle-bound crew to catch the thieves. Choose from a variety of perfectly molded superstars and bring these terrible villains to justice. As each thief attempts his escape, he will smash through walls while making a variety of poses. You must match these poses to fit through the holes and catch up to the thieves. The protein powder will be yours again!

Expect to question your sexuality on WiiWare soon.