Our White Party Shirt Designs!

Celebrating my very first official White Party (although I did attend the previous White Party last year, I wasn't officially out yet back then) with Rocky, my partner of over one year, we decided to have shirts that proudly reflected our gender as well as our geekiness in a single go.

With Pink Triangles to reflect our gay status, we added a rainbow loop to be sure to encompass the official gay colors in our design.  In the back, however, we definitely wanted something that proclaimed how much of a geek we were and at the same time, when seen together worked perfectly as a show we were a couple.

We chose Katamari Damacy!
With the King of all Cosmos on my back, and the numerous cousins on my partner's back, we then added the words Royal and Rainbow underneath each one.  When together, we easily formed the term Royal Rainbow, which anyone who played Katamari Damacy would easily know is the gayest mode of transport available to man!    The shirts were beautiful and exciting concept wise, but sadly were not executed as well as we had hoped.

Ultimately, we were happy to have our first official Gay Pride White Party couple shirts and we're definitely looking to making this a yearly practice!

Happy Gay Pride to you all!

You... Yes you!

Happy Birthday to you, Mr. Mraz.
May I someday look as hot as you do.

Thank you for the music and for inspiring us to truly believe in honest love.

The White Party 2010

The White Party is coming up.
My partner and I have been excitedly sharing ideas on what kind of white shirt to wear to the event.  While he has always been a faithful participant of the White Parties in the past, for me, this is going to be the second White Party I have ever attended.

As embarrassing as it may be to admit, I wasn't even that aware of the significance of the Stonewall Raids until recently.  For quite some time, my being bisexual was merely some hidden stigma that I had to hide from my parents and that I carefully shared with my friends.  Growing up had me uncertain if I could enjoy shows like Will and Grace without triggering their alarms.  And while I never found myself draw to shows like Queer as Folk, I did have those times when I wanted to state how hot Jake Gyllenhaal was in Donnie Darko or how sexy I found both Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.

But thankfully, this last year has been one of finding myself and being more able to honestly speak of my desires, interests and expectations.  Ever since I came out to my parents (and yes, I am still working on THAT blog entry) I have felt this huge need to "hide things" lifted from my chest.  While I haven't exactly been given a go signal to clearly talk about how much I love my partner, or how cute Bear Grylls looks with my parents, I now don't have to lie to them and simply call my partner "my best friend."  I can now tell them that the upcoming Saturday night is already mapped out in my schedule as the Gay Pride White Party.  I can honestly tell them that I don't necessarily agree with how some people interpret things in the Bible to "prove" being gay is wrong.

So yeah, with the White Party coming up, my partner and I have been coming up with concepts on what kinds of shirts we can use.  While most gay people would jump at such an opportunity to show some skin, dress in drag, or peruse the attendance of the event as merely another sexual meat locker to choose from, me and my partner see it as a chance to once more reaffirm our honesty to one another and to ourselves both as geeks and as a gay couple.

Being the White Party, a white shirt was pretty much assured.  To show our gay pride, the presence of the rainbow and a pink triangle was definitely to be present.  To proudly show our geek side too, however, required some thought.

Initially, I thought of making the shirts reflect the recent DC Blackest Night story arc.  With the Pink Corps reflecting our Love for each other (and gay pride to boot!) our backs would display our "class colors" as an inside joke.

While cute, my partner wasn't sure if it seemed apt for the Gay Pride event.

Tossing another idea at him, my inner geek elitist came out and I came up with this design instead.  Only people who knew Dr. Who would be able to recognize the objects, and more so the double meaning lines that were to be in the back of the shirts.   My partner found them cute but wasn't sure if he wanted to be labelled "Bigger in the inside."

So we threw back and forth more ideas and eventually found ourselves going back to one of the major geeky things that we both absolutely adored.



So what will the shirt designs look like?
You'll just have to wait and see!

:-)

See you at the White Party!

I believe in Karma. And Stupidity.

I recently attended a birthday bash a friend of mine was having.   The party was held at our favorite haunt and with three tables reserved just for us, I opted to stay at the table I usually am at, enjoying its familiarity and closeness to the air conditioner.  There were a large number of new faces that evening.  While I was amongst friends and good buddies, there was a very generous helping of new faces and I had my share of introductions and ice breaker toasts.  A few more tequila shots later between rounds of Extra Joss empowered beer and I found myself giddy and dancing to the great music.    I saw a lot of old friends who now had partners and true to my nickname-sake, began to talk to each of them like a mother would to her child's new suitor.  I reminded them of the importance of honesty and respect and how if they crossed the line, I would call upon every true and powerful thing outside the arms of the law to smite them.

The night was good.  Dancing and laughter were shared in abundance.  Anecdotes shared.  Jokes remembered.

I missed my partner.  He was stuck at work that night, and being a responsible manager, he didn't exactly think the idea of just calling in sick was acceptable.  So I had dropped him off at work before driving to the party and now felt how much I wished he was with me.  The sea of laughing faces, iced alcohol and frenetic dance steps seemed less... fun... without him.

It was then that it happened.

As the group toasted another round for the birthday boy, a friend I had not seen for quite some time stumbled close - evidently having a tad too much to drink - and stared at the boyfriend of one of my buddies.  With a smile, the friend swung an arm around the boyfriend's neck, then pulled him close as if to whisper something to his ear.   This was happening just a foot in front of me.   Leaning close to grab the friend in case gravity won against his wobbly knees, I overheard him stumbling over his own words as he slid his hand to the guy's chest and squeezed.

Uh oh.

A quick glance and I saw the boyfriend's partner, my other friend, staring at the incident with contained anger.  Knowing this was most likely the alcohol and not actual stupidity, I stepped forward and quickly grabbed drunk buddy with my arms, pulled him off the boyfriend, and sat him down beside me.  Drunk friend laughed, obviously oblivious to what was going on, and asked me if he can hug me.  I told him it was fine and used it as a means to keep him from tipping over.

While I am not that much a believer that alcohol should excuse one of acting stupidly (for I still believe no matter how drunk a person gets, the choice to act is always a choice, though admittedly drunk people make really bad ones.  The alcohol does NOT make the choice for you.)  I began think about how some people choose to act stupidly for supposed romantic or whatever reasons, but when truly confronted are easily revealed to be selfish ones.  And mind you, I am in no means washing my hands clean and claiming to be pure and innocent of stupid choices.  I too have made my own number of mistakes in the past.  But I have always admitted my mistakes and lived up to my promises.

I know of some people who seem to thrive on the idea of going for people who are attached.  It does not matter how loyal the others are, or whether or not their own relationship is going well.  The call for something as forbidden as a taken man seems too irresistible to ignore.

I know also of others who live their lives crying wolf.  They lie, cheat, and in some cases even steal, then when caught blame society, blame their partner, blame the other man, or even blame mental illness they claim to have... but never do they simply fess up and admit their fault.

And I know of others who thrive on manipulation and gossip.  They twist the truth and spread so much white lies, they convince themselves of their own inventions.  Even something as me telling another, "I rather not say anything at the risk of being accused of backstabbing a person.." was reinterpreted and spread as me supposedly spreading bad gossip about a person.

Stupid people.
Stupid choices.
And worse yet, the stupid fact that many others are blind to these facts and accept their words as gospel.

Sometimes I wish I could do something to help.  Many of these people aren't exactly enemies or people I dislike (although there is one whom I wish would finally pay the karmic debt of all the @*$*&#%^*# he's done to others), and sad but true, most won't take kindly to any attempt to help them become better people.  Some would cry foul and demand to be given the "right" to live their lives how they want.   And while I do agree we all have a right to finding our own kind of happiness, how does one balance respecting such rights when one can clearly see the other is trapped in an unfair situation?

"If they don't help themselves..."

I was told that was supposed to be the main difference.  If you have a friend whose hard-earned money was being leeched away by a wife who seems to be the very definition of infidelity, you have no right to say anything is wrong about it if the friend doesn't complain anyway.  That's their life.  That's their call if they want to live that kind of a life.

In some ways, that sounds true.

However, what if the friend doesn't complain not because he is okay with it, but because he just rather not "make a fuss" over things.   It isn't that he's happy with the situation or accepts it.  What if its because he thinks by acting he loses everything?

This seems to be a long blog entry with no clear direction.  I guess I was just trying to jot down thoughts and see where they lead.  Sometimes, I think it is easier to just pretend that I don't know things.  Pretend I don't see the little wrongs going on.  To just act as if I was blind too to the unacceptable acts of stupidity that people I care about engage in.

But would that not be any different from getting drunk, then blaming the beer for hitting on a friend's boyfriend?

Wouldn't that just be a choice to be dishonest?

Kitchen Based Musings

I have recently learned to cook soft shell crabs.

Hell, to be more honest, it has barely been more than a year since I actually started cooking.  Thankfully, I've discovered among the many dishes I have gradually learned to do better that there are two dishes that I can do pretty well.  Both dishes were staples that I used to always order with my partner at this restaurant called Fish and Co.

Fish Fillet with chips.
Soft shell crab salad.

Fish Fillet is quite easy now that one can buy Cream Dory fillet in a supermarket.  With just a light seasoning of salt and pepper, then an egg to bind flour to it and you got a dish ready for pan frying fun.

Soft shell crab on the other hand takes a bit more effort.  Having been able to toss my partner and myself a salad when the urge was there, I decided a few days ago to take a stab at actually making soft shell crab salad.  I had discovered that Shopwise sold alfalfa in a generous amount for its price, and with the balsamic vinaigrette salads I've been making, the idea of being able to add to it a soft shell crab was something I could not resist.  I mean, how hard could it be right?

It turns out, creating a soft shell crab salad does require a strong determination to accomplish the task.   Well, at least it did for someone like me.   I discovered Shopwise also sold soft shell crabs in the frozen Japanese section for Php250 a box (which had four crabs) and while I was letting two of them thaw, I decided to surf the net for any tips on how to cook the sucker.

Soft shell crabs, it turned out, need to be cleaned before cooking.
Oh my lord.
Lemme explain that reaction  by letting you watch the video I viewed.



OH MY GOD.  Yes.  They cut off those parts and the FACE while the crab is still alive.
Alive!  Do you read me?!??!
I don't pretend to be an animal rights activist or anything, but seriously couldn't they have at least killed the crab properly first before cutting those parts off and cooking it?

This video kinda hit me bad.  And even though I was working with long dead frozen crabs, I found myself feeling sad for the fellers as I took the kitchen shears and snipped the faces off.  I felt their firm bodies in my hand and hated how my brain could still imagine them squirming and struggling in dying agony.

Wah.

It is interesting how you don't even need to season the crabs much.  Just roll them in flour that has been seasoned a bit with black pepper and paprika, and that's it, it is ready for frying.

So yeah, the salad was delicious!  Very easy to prepare and well worth the effort.  I'm certain certain chefs and foodies out there have loads of suggestions for me (like how to better prepare the crab, or what is a better way to season things, etc) but ultimately what matters is being able to cook something my partner and I will enjoy.

I just wish I didn't find myself stopping each time I had to clean the crab and remembering how somewhere out there, some of these poor things have to get "cleaned" before they even die.  

While it is hard to think of good gossip, here's an example of Bad Gossip.

Hey everyone, sorry for the long delay.  Having recently come out to my parents, I haven't gotten around to getting the details to finally sink in and come out as a coherent blog post.

For now, however, let me talk about something else:
Here in Manila, one of the key gay hangout spots is Malate.  Once the central bohemian destination where musicians, artists and writers converged, the place - and more specifically the intersection of Nakpil and Orosa street - have transformed with the times to become a gay mecca in the metropolis.  There are a number of gay friendly establishments along this strip, with two bars being most notable:  O bar and Bed.  Both cater to the drink and party crowd and both have their own pros and cons.  Many who seek to relive the illusion of a wild life presented by shows like Queer as Folk prefer Bed and its overly expensive drinks and massive flirtation space.  Others who have begun to see the joys of bonding with friends have begun to embrace O bar as the place to be.  And while both bars of course have their own share of monkeys and undesirables, both tend to have crowds whose main drive that night is towards one or the other.

But I'm not focusing this blog post to talk about the bars, though.

Instead I am focusing on the existence of a small page in Facebook that seeks to stylize itself as some kind of Gossip Girl wannabe.   With struggling English, thinly veiled code names, and a very large tendency to get the facts wrong, the page has declared itself a hub for the latest gossip about certain people who hang out in the area.  As of this blog posting, the page has targeted a dancer and a few regular customers of O bar, and has even released a list of more names to follow.

While the urge to gossip and share news about other people seems to be a strong trait of anyone more social than not, I do not know if I can appreciate a site that prides itself in spreading rumors about people who aren't  even celebrities.  Celebrities already walk a thin line in having private and public lives separate.  And some would even say celebrities don't have much of a choice, since their personal lives are in many ways what make them even more popular.  This self-proclaimed gossip site, however, targets private individuals and worse, shares unconfirmed (or at least claims to have confirmed, but clearly has details wrong) rumors about them.   The most recent entry on a Mr. U.B.E. has many facts twisted askew and while the entry tries to sound somewhat respectful or favorable of the guy being a nice guy, shares potentially damaging information about someone the page itself declares as "This guy is often quiet, shy, and real nice."   The page even alludes to some group thing going on and claims the reason for one of them staying with the two others is "withheld", when the real reasons is actually because the other guy simply needed a place to stay at for a while.  Ergo, the real reason, which lacked any real malice, was intentionally kept from the readers to again build intrigue and malice.

The page could be fun.  There is always something nice about reading blind items about celebrities.   But the beauty about blind items is that it keeps things vague and interesting without being insulting or slanderous.  This page fails to do just that.   Instead, it seems to think intrigue and making insinuations about others is a positive and fun thing that doesn't harm others.

And clearly, the people behind the page itself are aware of this fact.  They know how wrong what they are doing actually is.  Why?  Because they choose to stay anonymous to avoid being targeted themselves.

To those listed as current and future targets of the page, while I might not know you all personally and to be honest, I might not even be able to consider you all as someone I'd call a friend, I still feel for you and how this page seeks to slander you for sheer fun.

To the people behind this page, either shape up and get your act straight, or quit and vanish people someone actually takes action against you.  Realize worse things have been done to people who try to ruin the reputation and name of other people.  Slander and libel are also things you should research on.  Take my advice and quit while you haven't riled up the wrong people, or you might find yourself gossiping more than you can handle and learning how words can be the catalyst for worse things.  I.P. addresses can be traced.  Online identities can be hunted down.  Things can be done.  Quit before things get out of hand, for your own sake.  Are you forgetting that you live in the Philippines?  Worse things have happened to people for far less.

Goodbye Closet.

I am finally out to my parents.  There will definitely be a blog post on that soon.

But for now, I will just relish the joy and happiness.

Thank you every one for your support.