Geekwood: Sun Jian

This is a guilty pleasure, I will have to admit.

Dynasty Warriors has been a button-mashing game that plain and simply hits me in the right way.  As much as I love role-playing games and deep stories, there is a part of me that truly enjoys the idea of charging headlong into battle and tearing down hundreds if not thousands of enemies like there was no tomorrow.    Those familiar with the game know that every installment of Dynasty Warriors gives you access to a large variety of characters to choose from.   Loosely based on the tale of the Three Kingdoms, Dynasty Warriors has ramped itself up to have slightly more modern touches without totally losing the feel of battling for the unification of ancient China.

And from this game comes today's Geekwood selection:  Sun Jian.

Look at your man, now back at me... 

Known as the "Tiger of Jiang Dong" Sun Jian was a loyal member of the Wu who first appears in Dynasty Warriors 2.  The first Dynasty Warriors game was sort of like a fighting game more than the way the games are played now.  His life began as a young man who outsmarted pirates at age seventeen.  As time passed, Sun Jian would eventually raise over a thousand men to aid Zhu Jun during the Yellow Turban revolution.  When he finally succeeds in bringing down a revolt in Jiang Xia, he is granted governorship of Chang Sha.

I love the outfit!

A pity his tale does not end there.   From his finding of the Imperial Seal in a well and trying to keep it for himself, to his rivalry with Yuan Shao he finds himself becoming bitter enemies with Liu Biao.  Liu Bao's general Lu Gong successfully entices Sun Jian into an ambush and is slain by arrows and thrown rocks.    He only finds peace when Sun Ce finally trades a prisoner in return for his father's body.  He now lies buried in the plains of Qu'e.



Thankfully, since the Sun Jian we promote to Geekwood is based more on the Dynasty Warriors game than any other incarnation, we can ignore the part of him dying (since a computer character never actually lived) and still celebrate his hotness.   With a build that just screams strong and tough, and a goatee that reminds you who is in charge, Sun Jian is one warrior you better be ready to face head on.   As Sun Jian himself said, "The wife of a tiger must be a tiger herself."  So yes, it sounds like Sun Jian only favors versatile partners in his life!

His alternate form reminds me of Sebastian Shaw for some reason.

Interesting, while his sense of fashion is quite basic, he has a flair for working the grey-white hair cut.  Throwing Dragonball Z to shame, Sun Jian boasts a plumage that just reminds you how he is a walking tower of testosterone.  Even his son, Sun Ce, is already sporting a soul patch to mimic his father's goatee.  Makes you wonder if he'll eventually try to capture the fabulousness of his hair too.



I personally relish the fact that Sun Jian celebrates the joy of husky meaty men.  Far too many heroes in Dynasty Warriors are portrayed as lithe yaoi boys with weapons far too large for their own hands.  Sun Jian is a proper man with a back meant for carrying, a chest meant for burying into, and a weapon that's just the right size.  He looks funny though in his "awakened" form in Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce.  Almost like a lovechild of Blanka and Wolverine.

And yes, tiger cape is always in fashion!

It is therefore a pity that he does not appear in John Woo's Red Cliff movies and it doesn't look like he will be having any spotlight anytime soon.  Til something better comes along, I guess we have no choice but to be happy with the games, or your stint in the Three Kingdoms TV series done years back. It is cute, though, that Japanese fans call you "Papa." Somehow, if I ever met you, I know I would have too.  I frankly am surprised no one has made porn yet inspired by this called "TheNasty Warriors"



With the upcoming Dynasty Warriors 7 for the PS3, here's hoping Sun Jian gets a much needed fashion do-over, and perhaps a pants only alternate costume as well!  I'm already loving the much  more atmospheric music (compared to the loud rock stuff of the previous DW games).