Wednesday, May 25, 2011

PG4M Question worth sharing: when did you realize?

Swimming class in DBTI.  Everyone was changing into their swimming trunks when I saw one of my classmates whom I always found somewhat... different.  As he changed, my eyes focused on the way his abdominals flexed as he bent foward to pull his briefs down from under the towel wrapped around his waist.

I gasped.

And discovered I had a boner.
Quickly ran to a nearby toilet cubicle, locked myself inside, and stared at my member.  It had betrayed me! First time ever!  I stared at its purplish proud head and tried to will it to descend.  Instead it began to throb and yearned for my touch.

Hay. naku.

It would not be until a few more years before I'd finally accept I wasn't straight.
But those years were me struggling to understand why I wasn't "bakla" the way bakla was said to be (cross-dressing, high pitched talking as promoted by mass media icons roderick paulate, etc) but not macho either.  I had girlfriends who I really loved.  I had boyfriends who I really loved.  It was on my first year in college that I finally understood that I was bisexual.  Not a phase.  Not a confusion.  I loved men and women.  No change that.  I loved.  It didn't matter if it was a man or a woman.

From forum discussions on Pinoy Gay4Men v3.0 forums
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